Candid Memoir

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I was walking to my nearest train station when I felt the first drops of rain on my shoulders. "I thought it wouldn't rain until 7 this evening. What's going on?" I thought to myself as I picked up the pace. I noticed the rain clouds and checked the weather app before leaving, but it seemed the estimated time was wrong. 

I was on my way to Central London to make content, but I had to turn around and head back home as I didn't think I would make it to the train station. It was raining heavily, and I was already soaking wet from head to toe. Although I enjoy making walking videos, it wouldn't be good for me to walk around in wet clothes, so I had no other choice but to go home and postpone it for another day. 

I thought it would be interesting to make a video walking in the rain after weeks of heatwaves, but I didn't expect it to rain so heavily. As mentioned in my previous post, It's Too Hot In England, we are going through one of the hottest summers in the UK, which led to a drought. It didn't rain for over 50 days, and the green spaces around London turned a burned yellow. 

So let me take you back to the days when the rain stopped falling, and London was nothing but heatwaves and drought. Walking is one of my favourite hobbies, as it helps me manage my weight and clear my mind. Life hasn't been great for me since moving to London, and walking is what has helped me keep going for over a year in this beautiful city. 

So I started making videos of my walks and trips across the UK, and I recently shifted my channel towards morning and evening walks. I usually go out early in the morning or in the late evening to catch sunrise and sunset for my walking tour videos. I captured the changes London experienced during the heatwaves through my lens.


Charlton House at Sunset, Charlton Park


When The Rain Stopped

One of the first things that comes to mind when people think of England is the rain, yet it didn't rain for 50 days this summer. When I moved here a few years ago, if someone told me I would experience a drought and one of the hottest summers of my life. I wouldn't believe them because drought and the UK, or England, can't be used in the same sentence.

For someone who complains about the rain all the time, I kept wondering when it would fall again during the heatwave. I knew summer would be different this year when I looked out the window during my trip to Liverpool, and the scenery looked like autumn. 

The North of England is one of the coldest and wettest places in the country, but it looked dry and yellow like London. Summer was brutal this year; people walked around with mini fans and were constantly reminded to stay hydrated. Although I drink plenty of water regardless of the season, I haven't been sleeping well and have been getting headaches every day. And it's hard to be productive when you're too hot and can't focus. 

So I spent my free time watching Japanese and Chinese dramas. Then I went for a walk in a park at sunset; it was so relaxing to sit on a swing, watch the sun set and listen to a podcast. When the rain stopped falling, I came to appreciate the sunset almost every day in a quiet park.

Walking on parched grass in a park


When Summer Feels Like Autumn

Autumn is my favourite season, and what makes it special to me is the mix of sunshine and rain, the beautiful colours, and the fallen leaves. There is something magical about autumn; however, walking over fallen leaves didn't feel magical this summer. When I went to Greenwich Park the other day, I took a photo of a beautiful tree and thought it wouldn't feel out of place in autumn. 

The leaves had turned yellow, and the tree had fallen leaves all around, exactly how most trees look in autumn, yet we were still in August. It's quite an experience to see green spaces turn yellow or orange in summer. I have never experienced anything like it until this year, and I can't find the words to describe the feeling.

Is this a sign from Mother Nature to take care of our planet?! If summers keep getting hotter and drier, will England still be known for its rainy days 10 years from now?! Houses were built to keep the cold in, and they no longer seem suited to the current climate. Things keep changing, and nature is evolving, but it doesn't necessarily mean it's a good thing. 

I still remember wearing a light jacket or raincoat in summer when I moved here a few years ago, but now even a long-sleeve shirt is too much in this weather. Some of us can't walk around in T-shirts; my chest bounces, and it's embarrassing, so I have no choice but to wear a shirt or denim jacket over it. I'm so envious of women who can rock a tank top in hot weather...
Trafalgar Square

"A Day In My Life" is one of my favourite types of videos to watch on YouTube. As a lifestyle blogger, I wanted to start a new category to share what I do on a regular day. I'm an introvert with too many hobbies living a boring life, but I still hope you'll find it interesting. I think the reason some of us love watching those videos is the illusion of proximity to the creator. At least, that's how it feels for me.

People are easily relatable when you see them live an ordinary life. So let me give you an insight into my life in London. I'm going to take you back to the day I went to Buckingham Palace to make a walking video; you can read the post on how my day started here. I left home first thing in the morning because I live far from Buckingham Palace and wanted to get there on time for the sunrise.

I make sunrise and sunset walking tour videos on my travel channel. I often travel to make content, although I'm planning to focus on London for the next couple of months. It isn't easy to get up early in the morning, but it's fun, relaxing and interesting to explore a city at dawn or at sunset. Moreover, it's a fun way to be active and get my steps in; I'm sure this time next year, I'll drop at least 3 dress sizes if I keep going. 

In all the years I've been living in England, I didn't care about the sunrise and sunset until recently. Now I wish I had started admiring them sooner; it was such a breathtaking moment to watch the first rays of sun in St James's Park. And what I love the most about morning walks is how quiet London is at dawn. I walked from Buckingham Palace to Trafalgar Square through St James's Park.


The National Gallery, Trafalgar Square

Relaxing In Trafalgar Square

After reaching my destination, Trafalgar Square, I wasn't ready to head back home after travelling for over an hour to get to Central London. The National Gallery was closed, and it was also too early in the morning to do anything fun, even though Chinatown is a few minutes' walk away.

Trafalgar Square is one of my favourite places in London and the place to go for fun events; it's also where Japan Matsuri, the Japanese festival, takes place every September. So I sat on the stairs by The National Gallery to relax after walking for so long and watched the city slowly awake while listening to a podcast.

I have been doubting my decision to move to London a lot lately, and this seemingly boring and random moment of people-watching sitting on some stairs brought me peace. London truly is beautiful in the morning, and watching the sun rise on Big Ben has to be experienced at least once. 

I sat there until my bum started hurting. I wasn't ready to go home yet, so I turned left after leaving Trafalgar Square to head to Leicester Square in the West End. It's the centre of London's entertainment district and famous for movie premieres; it's the place to go if you want to meet movie stars and other celebrities. 

Chinatown is less than 5 minutes away from Leicester Square, which is great if you want to grab something to eat before or after a movie. It's also worth going in winter when the square becomes an ice rink. So if you love ice skating, make sure to visit Leicester Square and the Queen's House in Greenwich Park. 


William Shakespeare statue, Leicester Square

Cinnamon Roll For Breakfast

After wandering around Leicester Square and Chinatown for over an hour, I went back to Trafalgar Square. During a trip to London in 2024, I had breakfast at a cafe nearby. It was such a good experience that I decided to go back there instead of looking for a new place to eat. I left so early that I didn't have time for breakfast, and I was starving after walking for so long.

I usually don't eat when I'm out and about because London is expensive and I just prefer making my meals at home. Homemade meals are cheaper and healthier; eating out isn't that simple for a pescatarian, so I mostly go to cafes and sushi bars. The cafe I went to that day is opposite Trafalgar Square; I took a seat in the middle of the room and started going through the menu.

Their pastries aren't exceptional; I mostly went back for the vintage decor and laidback vibes. There was a family on my left near the entrance and a teenage couple a few tables in front of me. They were so cute it brought a smile to my face; it would be nice to share a delicious cake with a man I appreciate, I thought to myself.

A waiter approached me, asking if I was ready to order. I smiled and asked for a croissant and a latte. He smiled apologetically and said they've run out of croissants and pains au chocolat. I sighed and asked him to recommend a pastry to go with a latte. He gave me 2 options, and I chose a cinnamon roll; I haven't had one for ages, I told him with a smile.

I noticed the teenage couple talking as I took a sip of my latte; I couldn't tell if they were interested in my camera or wondering why I was having breakfast alone. It didn't matter either way, so I quietly enjoyed the cinnamon roll and latte. 


Cinnamon Roll & Latte 


Finding Joy In Life

I happily walked out of the cafe after thanking the waiters; the cinnamon roll was absolutely delicious, and the latte improved my mood. You know what they say about women: nothing makes us happier than food, and I was a content woman making my way home that day. Things haven't been going as planned, but that's life, and the sooner I accept it, the better.

London is a fascinating city with a beautiful history, and I have been exploring it for months, but there is still so much to see and do. I don't think 5 years would be enough for me to see what this city has to offer, and I don't want to have any regrets when I leave one day.

It is time to make the most of my time here, go out more, explore and find London's hidden gems. Hopefully, this blog will become a source of inspiration for those planning a trip to London. My purpose is to visit as many cities and countries as possible and grow my blog and travel channel.

I thought to myself as I walked towards the Golden Jubilee Bridge. My feet hurt, and I could've taken a train back from Charing Cross, but I was in a good mood and wanted to enjoy the scenery one more time before heading home. "I've been way too serious lately; I should laugh more and find joy in life even though this isn't how I pictured my life in London" I smiled, looking at the tip of the Elisabeth Tower as I stood on the bridge.

Nothing exciting happened after I went home. I cooked, did my laundry, spoke to my mother, and spent the rest of the day watching a C-drama: Empresses in the Palace or The Legend of Zhen Huan. This drama ruined my mood, but it was so addictive I couldn't stop. Were women that wicked in the Forbidden City?! And the emperor was so cruel, it makes you wonder how historically accurate the drama is. 

Apart from going to Central London, I had a pretty quiet day, and as an introvert, I wouldn't have it any different. There is more to come in "A Day In My Life"; please visit again.


Big Ben from the Golden Jubilee Bridge

Thank you for reading!


At the beginning of 2026, it rained every day until Spring. I have been in England long enough to get used to the rain, especially after living in Manchester. But it was just too much earlier this year, so I can't tell you how excited I was when spring finally came.

I thought we'd have mild temperatures until the end of summer, but I couldn't have been more wrong. We have been going through a heatwave, and it's been announced that some parts of the UK are officially in drought. 

It's so hot these days, I'm constantly feeling exhausted and can't focus at all. I've been drinking plenty of water and using a fan, but completing the smallest task is draining even at night. It's the main reason my YouTube channel is inactive.

I locked myself in my room to make content, and the heat was just too unbearable, especially without the fan since I couldn't use it because of the noise. So I took a short break to reconsider the direction of my channel. I also renamed it to share the behind-the-scenes stories of the places I visit. The plan was to start making videos during my recent trips to Manchester and Liverpool, but I couldn't bring myself to record in a heatwave.

I'll make a blog post of my day trip to Liverpool. As mentioned above, it's too hot to lock myself in a room and make videos, so new videos will be available on my channel from September, and I'll talk about the trip in more detail.

It hasn't been easy to focus and write in this weather, but I'll keep doing my best, and hopefully the weather will cool down soon. I'll keep going to the park to relax and come up with new topics for my upcoming posts. Have a good day and stay hydrated!

Thank you for reading!


There are way too many people who concern themselves with what France's national football team should look like during a big competition. Why are there so many black people in the French team? Where are the "real" French people? Even people who have nothing to do with France or Europe think they are entitled to question the identity and nationality of a black person born there, and it wasn't any different during the 2026 World Cup. It's like repeating the same verse of a song, and it's getting boring.

Let's be real for a moment: do you really think Les Bleus would be filled with so many black players if they could find white players as talented as Mbappé, Olise and Saliba? A white man will always want to be the main character, and this team will go back to being white again if "real French" people start taking football seriously again. There aren't many opportunities for black kids from the banlieues; football and sports in general are their way out.

When the World Cup started on 11th June in Canada, the US and Mexico, I never thought that I would witness Argentina's downfall in real time. I'm not an Argentina fan, but I liked Javier Zanetti during his prime, and my favourite brother is a fan. His favourite players are Diego Maradona and Hernan Crespo. I remember staying up late at night with him to watch the Copa America; my favourite team in South America is Brazil. 

So Argentina vs Brazil was our South American equivalent of AC Milan vs Inter Milan, with me being an AC Milan fan, of course. Those were some of the happiest days of my life, and we had no idea of how people like us are treated in those countries. So I never thought I'd live to see Argentina's downfall, but I saw it coming since their celebrations in 2022 and 2024.

The last few weeks have been filled with so many emotions. I went from thinking France would win their 3rd World Cup to having some doubts, then felt happiness and confidence. Frustration and indignation kicked in later, only to crash out when France was eliminated. I was gutted when France lost to Spain, but I was good to see them lift the World Cup at the end of the competition. And I was one of the millions of people around the globe rooting for Spain during the final. 


Zidane, Desailly & Laurent Blanc

My First Big Summer Of Football in 1998

I have been watching club football and the Euros for as far as I can remember; my first football club is PSG. I can't tell you how it came to be; I didn't choose them, they chose me. It felt different to watch them play compared to other teams like l'Olympique de Marseille or Les Girondins de Bordeaux. The same thing happened with Manchester United when I started watching the Premier League, with Real Madrid in La Liga, and Alessandro Nesta is the reason I became an AC Milan Fan.

I was more into the Italian national team than the French one because I grew up hearing names like Roberto Baggio, Franco Baresi, and Roberto Donadoni. I don't have clear memories of the Euros and World Cup in the 90s, but I remember watching matches sitting on my father's or brothers' laps as a kid. I never felt any excitement for the French football team until the World Cup in 1998.

The competition was hosted in France; I was 14 at the time, and it was my first big summer of football as I finally understood why everyone gets so excited during the World Cup. I saw the excitement, patriotism, and national pride all over my town and could only imagine how much bigger it was in Paris. I was no longer rooting for Italy, and for the first time, I was chanting Allez Les Bleus!

I couldn't sleep the night before the final, Brazil vs France at the Stade de France. The Brazil we've seen at the last 2 World Cups is nothing compared to Brazil back then with Rivaldo, Roberto Carlos, Cafu, Bebeto and Ronaldo. These guys were a nightmare for players and fans; it was like playing Germany in the 80s and 90s. After an intense match, France won 3 - 0 and lifted the World Cup; the only thing I clearly remember from that day was Emmanuel Petit's goal and the celebration that followed.


Spain, 2026 World Cup Winners


A World Cup Of Scandals

The World Cup 1998 is the reason I look forward to this competition every 4 years. This year's competition is the most controversial in my lifetime. Some may argue that the Hand of god in 1986 with Diego Maradona was pretty bad; however, I was a toddler at the time, so I won't consider it. Spain was crowned World Champions nearly 2 weeks ago, yet the controversies don't seem to end.

The latest being Infantino's plans to sell the World Cup, but I won't get into that. Let's focus on what went on in Canada, the US and Mexico over the last few weeks. I've always been fearful of going to the US, and I honestly think I wouldn't survive there. We hear too much about police brutality, and I still haven't met an American, whether black or white, who left a good impression on me.

I interact with them a lot in my line of work, and they always come across as aggressive and arrogant, and they don't seem to know much about the rest of the world. I actually try to avoid them if possible, and it isn't easy since they are pretty much everywhere here in London. So if I had the chance to go to the World Cup, I would pick Canada and Mexico. I thought they would be better hosts, but I was pleasantly surprised by the American hospitality.

Denying access to fans and the Iranian team put me off and showed what a wimp Infantino is, but it was great to watch the Scottish fans in Boston and the Dutch Orange bus take over some US cities. They turned out to be a lot more fun than the Canadians, who I thought would be better hosts. They kept complaining about taxes and house prices, like taxes aren't high everywhere. 

People can't afford to buy houses here either; it doesn't mean you can't enjoy life, and the fans were visiting for a few weeks. It wouldn't hurt to welcome and accommodate them, then go back to b*tching about the cost of living like they will too once they're back home. I also understand their lack of interest; football isn't their thing, and it's best to hold the competition in a country where people would actually be excited about it. 

I'm so looking forward to Spain, Portugal and Morocco in 2030. Spain will defend their title on home soil, and I wouldn't miss it for anything. Also, it would be nice to go back to Morocco for the World Cup. I hope the next competition won't be plagued by politicians' involvement and corruption scandals.


Cristiano Ronaldo, 2026 World Cup


It's Lonely At The Top

I don't care about the GOAT debate between Cristiano Ronaldo and Messi; to me, Ronaldo is the better player and more relatable. And I cried my eyes out when Portugal was eliminated from the competition. I don't care about the team as a whole, and the most painful part is that they could've done better if some players put their egos aside and played with Ronaldo.

He was amazing at Manchester United and made me dream as a fan, and I will always respect him for his outstanding career. Moreover, I consider him the best for being true to himself. People have tried to humble and silence him, but he stood by his beliefs. He didn't let anyone mould him into what they thought he should be, and that's why he's constantly criticised and called arrogant.

In my post Lessons Learned in my 20s, I shared a story about a close friend who was jealous and ended up stabbing me in the back. It happened only because I trusted her and didn't think she could envy me. If it can happen to me, can you imagine what someone as rich and popular as Ronaldo has to go through? This World Cup showed that even his own teammates would rather be eliminated than let him shine. 

A random kid even said he was just a player like the rest of us. Let's see how many of them will carry Portugal like he has done in the last decade, if not 2 decades. My interest in the Portuguese football team started with Luis Figo, continued with Cristiano Ronaldo and will probably end with him since none of their recent players has caught my interest. The lack of respect for someone who has done so much for his country is also off-putting.

South Korea, I'm also talking about you; we've all seen how you treated Son Heung-min during this competition. Korea isn't on my list of countries I wish to visit when I finally go to East Asia because I still haven't heard good things from people who have been there. After the incident with Son Heung-min, I thought that if they can treat one of their biggest stars that way, I can't imagine what it's like for foreigners over there!


Lionel Messi, 2026 World Cup Final

The Downfall Of A Goat

Do you know why everyone is talking about Flaco López since the World Cup final against Spain? I didn't even know who this guy was until that day, and he's now seen as the only good example of sportsmanship in the Argentine squad for doing what Messi, their captain, couldn't do. He didn't turn his back on the new champions and showed respect.

Argentina fans and players have been arrogant and insufferable during the competition, so it was only a matter of time before people turned against them. As the saying goes, respect goes a long way, and they have shown none to their hosts (Argentinian fans' racism incidents with iShowSpeed in his own country) and the teams they played against. It wasn't new to me, though; I still remember their celebration after winning the World Cup final against France in 2022. 

The racism and mockery Mbappé and his teammates experienced afterwards. Messi was right there as their captain and said nothing, as if Mbappé wasn't his teammate at PSG. He also remained silent during the Copa America victory celebration, when once again they mocked French black players. They played Colombia, and what does France have to do with the Copa America anyway? For a country that claims to be " proud European", their obsession with France's black players seems obsessive.

They brought the same energy and attitude to the 2026 World Cup, thinking they'd get away with it once again, but this time around, the world had had enough of their shenanigans. What they are now calling a "hate campaign" is the consequence of their own actions. The rest of the world didn't incite them to brandish political banners and disrespect their opponents. No one told those fans to be racist live to the biggest streamer in the world, and more importantly, they attacked the new world champions in real time.

If someone had an agenda against me, I would do everything possible for them to fail. All they had to do was prove the rest of the world wrong by showing sportsmanship and being respectful like Flaco López. Messi stood by as his teammates brawled with the new world champions; as always, he said nothing, and at some point, silence becomes approval. 

That's why everyone is talking positively about Flaco López while questioning Messi's character. The Premier League will be so fun when the Argentina players come back to their clubs in England after the banner celebration; talk about biting the hand that feeds you...

Thank you for reading!


I'm not enjoying life as much as I used to since moving to London. I've been feeling down, and most of the time, I don't feel like going out at all. Being able to walk around Buckingham Palace and Tower Bridge whenever I want seems awesome, and I know that I'm living some people's dream life here in London, but I'm not a city person.

As beautiful as London is, I can't help but feel out of place; I would feel the same in any big city, whether it's Paris or Tokyo. The fast-paced life in big cities isn't for me; I watched Rose & Anzai Countrylife on YouTube over the weekend and was reminded that my dream is to live a quiet life in the countryside. Rose is an African woman who seems to have a dream life in the countryside in China. 

When she was still in her home country in Africa, one of her colleagues at work, a Chinese lady, introduced her to her cousin or friend. They fell in love, got married, and she moved to the countryside in China. She makes homemade meals and speaks Chinese fluently. As a woman who also left her home to build a new life for herself abroad, I have nothing but respect for Rose.

It takes a lot of courage to leave your family and friends to move to a country where you don't speak the language and have no one but a man to rely on. Although life in the Chinese countryside may not seem ideal to some, I wouldn't mind moving there and spending my days growing vegetables and fruits and making delicious food. A dream life in the countryside for me is living in a small house with a garden, making meals from scratch and going on walks at sunset with my loved ones!


A Slow And Simple Life

I was blessed to have wonderful parents who took good care of me and raised me to respect everyone regardless of their background. Maybe I was a spoiled child, or they didn't prepare me enough for life, but there was a time when I wished I had never left my parents' home. When I woke up every day ready to face life as a foreigner, a woman and a single mother, I started dreaming of a slow and simple life.

That life was nothing but a dream until the last couple of years, when I finally started slowing down. I spent years chasing jobs, raising 2 children alone, and doing pretty much everything on my own because I left my family behind when I moved to England. There was no one to help me, no one to talk to and moreover, no one to comfort me when life was just too much.

People learn to move in silence when they have no one, and that's exactly what happened. I couldn't even cry or fall apart because I had children who relied on me, so I shut down my emotions, became cold and cared only about myself and my daughters. Nothing else mattered more than making sure the kids had a roof over their heads, food on the table and clothes on their backs.

Despite my indifference, I was thinking of living a quiet life away from big cities, the day when I'll live at my own pace instead of constantly chasing things and people. Learn to grow my own produce, finally have time to sew some pillow and duvet covers, crochet blankets for the cold season and watch a movie late at night without dreading going to work the following day. 

Photo by Abigail Ducote


Baby Steps To Mindful Living

I believe I've mentioned this before, but as a woman of colour, I can't just get up one day and decide to visit a random country without first making sure I'll be safe. So it was comforting to watch women who look like me enjoy life in Asian countries. The main reason my mother is against me going to Japan is that Asia as a whole isn't seen as a friendly place for people of colour, especially black people. 

She's worried about me having a bad experience; even my younger brother told me I should forget Japan and go somewhere I'll actually have a good time. Is my life perfect in England or Europe in general? No. Did I face racism here? Yes, everyone in my family has experienced some form of racism, but they still think it would be worse in Asia. I love watching Rose's life abroad because it gave me the confidence to visit Japan and China. 

She seems to be doing well despite the challenge of marrying into a different culture; she learned the language and adapted to her new life. Her community has welcomed her, and her husband seems to truly care for her. People have different experiences, but hers proves that some people will accept you regardless of your skin colour, and that's what truly matters. Her life also reminds me of what I want mine to be in the coming years. 

I spent the best years of my life living like a zombie, and my bed was the only place where I could finally be myself. I finally started slowing down when I realised that I would never go back to being 27 or 30, and having responsibilities is no excuse for living a meaningless life. So I started being mindful of how I spent my free time; instead of sleeping all day on my days off, my daughters and I went on a fun day out. 

For our first day trip, we went to Liverpool; we watched Aladdin in the theatre, had a delicious meal and went shopping. It became a ritual to go out for a meal and watch a movie; we also visited beautiful cities in Europe. My baby steps to mindful living began when I changed how I saw motherhood. Making the most of each moment with or without my daughters is when I truly started living my life!


Happiness Is Simple

As a single woman in her 40s, people often ask what exactly are you looking for in a man. I usually just laugh because they assume that a single woman can't find happiness without a man. Happiness is simple and doesn't always involve a man; for me, it's living in a small house with a garden in the countryside. It's also waking up at dawn, brewing fresh coffee and watering flowers while the bread is in the oven. 

Life in the countryside would truly make me happy; it's one of the reasons I considered moving to Oxfordshire and York a few months ago. It's a shame that it didn't work out; I won't give up, and I'm sure one day I'll finally have my dream life in the countryside, and who knows, maybe it's even a man who will make it happen lol.

Is it weird for my happiness to be nothing but a dream life in the countryside? You would understand if you spent the best years of your life going above and beyond while ignoring your own needs. I grew up pleasing my parents; then a man came after that, and after a man, it was my daughters. I finally started living for myself in my 40s; still, people make me feel guilty for leaving my daughters with their dad to focus on myself.

No matter what I do and how hard I try, it's clearly never enough, so living in a small house away from my family and my mother will truly make me happy. I have to say, a small house with a beautiful kitchen to make delicious meals from scratch, I could grow carrots, cabbages, tomatoes, apples and strawberries. I'll also learn to make potato or rice wine; even though I don't drink, my life would be so much more interesting in the countryside...

Thank you for reading!


In my early 20s, I was still a naive woman who thought the world was a happy place where everyone got along. It may seem ridiculous, but it's the truth: my parents were very protective, and I lived a sheltered life. So I didn't get to interact with people outside my family; that's why I didn't know that much about the world and people in general. Hence, I'm making this post about some life lessons learned in my 20s.

I spent my childhood and teens hidden in my bedroom, reading books and watching anime away from the realities of this world. I left my parents' home for the first time to go to university; I moved to another city and lived with my uncle. And my uncle's wife taught me my very first lesson on how people will make you feel unwelcome without saying it to your face.

Some lessons are better learned the hard way, and what a learning experience it has been since leaving my parents' home. I was raised to be kind, honest and treat people with respect, but we live in a world where kindness is seen as weakness. So I met a lot of people who tried to bully me, thinking I was weak and stupid, especially at work. Some of my worst experiences happened in the corporate world; I guess people don't stop being bullies after high school. 

I used to let things slide, thinking that ignoring rude and mean people was better than interacting with them, but being the bigger person is a mistake, as it encourages disrespect. Bullies keep being bullies because they aren't called out and held accountable for their behaviour; it actually says a lot about this world when people expect someone who's been treated badly to just forget and move on. Anyway, these are some of the hardest life lessons I learned in my 20s.


You Can't Fully Trust People

Back in high school, I met a girl I got along with really well, and I even fought my mother to have her as a friend. A few years later, she was more than a friend to me and when she was struggling to get a job. I asked my boss at the time to hire her, and after she joined the company, things started going wrong for me. She made up lies and rumours about me, and since she was like a sister to me, people believed her, and in the end I even lost my job.

I didn't know that she was secretly jealous of me and was plotting my downfall. I can't put into words how I felt back then; I didn't try to get back at her and walked away. A few months later, she was fired from the job, and my old boss tried to give me my job back after they realised the type of person she was. I already had a new job and had no interest in working for someone who doubted me. The lesson is that you can't fully trust people, especially those who are close to you. 

I'm friendly, kind, and polite, but I no longer try to get too close to people. I spent many years yearning for friends, and when I finally made one, she turned around and betrayed me. Maybe my mother was right to be strict with me; who knows what other bad experiences I might have gone through with such friends. I had so many regrets after her betrayal and wished I had listened to my mother.

Honestly, I think some people are genuine and can be good friends, but I'd rather be on my own. I've been enjoying life alone for so many years now that the idea of making friends seems ridiculous. This is one of the most painful lessons I learned in my early 20s. She did apologise eventually, and I forgave her but never forgot.

Photo by Hannah Rodrigo



Having Expectations Hurts

This is a lesson I learned when I started dating; it was stupid of me to expect a man to be decent and honest. I was an innocent girl in love who thought that being committed, loyal and faithful was the key to a happy relationship, but I ended up being taken for granted instead. I don't think there is anything worse in life than wasting your feelings on the wrong person; there are too many men out there who think a woman in love will stay and forgive no matter what.

There was this time when the father of my children told me the same thing, and you should have seen the look on his face when I told him I got myself a house and was moving out with the kids. And when he asked, "Are you really leaving?" I told him that the only woman who will tolerate his behaviour and still love him unconditionally is his mother, and I didn't birth him, so yes, I'm leaving.

Women have too many expectations of men, and when reality hits us, it hurts because you start seeing that man for who he really is, and let's be honest, most men are disappointing. They make promises they don't keep; some have bad hygiene and live in bad conditions. Others want you to support them financially and hardly help at home. I grew up in a time when men were providers and protectors, and I will never fall for a bum, but I do feel for my daughters' generation.

The lesson I learned when I started dating and interacting with men is that wearing your heart on your sleeve will get you hurt; some men will use your feelings to take advantage of you. There is nothing wrong with being in love and having expectations, but actions speak louder than words. It's a lot easier to say sweet words than it is to do something nice or sweet for someone. Over the years, my expectations came to depend on how a person treats me; this applies to dating and life in general!



Be Kind Instead Of Being Nice

My mother has only 2 daughters: my older sister who lives here in London and me. People in my family have been comparing us since childhood, even though she's 16 years older than me. They say my sister is nice and friendly while I'm cold and unapproachable; it doesn't bother me because she's fake nice. I don't mean it in a mean way and am just stating a fact: she pretends to be nice around people, especially family, while I'm true to myself.

I don't care what people think of me and don't need to put a fake smile on my face to please anyone. I'm kind to everyone until they give me a reason to stop. As I mentioned above, we live in a world where kindness is seen as weakness, and some people will give you a hard time for being a decent person. When it happens, I match their energy. 

To me, being kind is being yourself and doing things because you want to, not to please other people. Kind people don't care how the world sees them, while nice people do things to please other people. I finally understood why my parents raised me to be kind when I became a parent myself. I don't want my daughters to do things they aren't comfortable with to make others like them.

Kind people don't let people's perception of them influence them; their personality is genuine, and they tend to gravitate towards people who have the same values. On the other hand, being nice is pretending to care to look good; I didn't know the difference until I met nice people who were two-faced. They were nice in public and mean in private, and in a world full of nice people, be kind!

Thank you for reading!


I started self-studying Japanese a couple of years ago when I planned my first trip to Japan, and I think it's time to admit that learning Japanese on your own is hard. I've been studying for months, and I'm still struggling with Hiragana and Katakana. What am I doing wrong?! Is it even possible for me to become fluent without living in Japan?!

I'm so frustrated with myself that I feel like giving up. As I mentioned in a previous post, I can't seem to make it to Japan whenever I plan to visit. Something always gets in the way and makes me change my plan. The pandemic happened in 2020 when I wanted to go to the Olympics. I ended up buying a new car with the money saved, and when I was ready to go last year, I had some bad experiences and decided to move to another city.

It wasn't the right time to visit. Then I planned to go in July this year, but my mother was ill, and she still is, so it isn't the right time to go on a trip halfway across the globe. I wish I could say that at least my Japanese has improved, but I keep forgetting my Hiragana and Katakana. I actually haven't made much progress since I started my learning journey. 

This is the first time it's taking me so long to learn something, and I'm so mad I feel like screaming into a pillow. At this rate, I'll never learn Kanji, let alone read and speak Japanese fluently. I can't stop asking myself what I'm doing wrong. I know Japanese isn't an easy language to learn, but it seems extra hard for me for some reason. Did I overestimate myself because I can understand the language, thinking it was enough for me to pick it up quickly?!

Listening to Japanese Podcasts


Japanese Dramas, Music, and Podcasts

If you read my post The Real Reason I'm Learning Japanese, then you know how fully invested I am in learning the language. I've always been interested in learning new languages, which is why I'm blogging in English even though my first language is French. And the Japanese language has been part of my life since my interest in Japanese pop culture went from anime to dramas and Japanese culture in general.

Although it was never my plan to live in Japan, I still want to learn the language and become fluent. I probably wouldn't be this fluent in English if I hadn't chosen to live in England, but I still think it's possible to learn a language and become fluent without living in a country where it's spoken. That being said, I'm willing to spend a couple of months learning the basics at a language school in Japan, as I did when I first came to London in 2007.

I have been into Japanese media for years now, and I mostly watch Japanese dramas and movies, so listening isn't an issue; I can fully watch a TV show or movie without subtitles and understand what's going on. When I started my learning journey, I looked for the best podcasts to listen to during my commute, and my favourites are Japanese with Shun and YuYu Nihongo Podcast. I really like YuYu's podcast for his storytelling and can't recommend it enough if you're also learning Japanese.

The good thing about watching dramas and listening to podcasts is that I'm starting to think in Japanese. Most bilinguals look for words to express themselves because they think in their native language and translate first before speaking. Once you reach a native level, you start thinking in both your 1st and 2nd languages and don't seem so hesitant expressing yourself. 

I've unlocked this level in Japanese even though I'm struggling with the language because I'm already bilingual; maybe my brain is used to switching languages. I've also been immersing myself in Japanese for years with dramas, podcasts, and music, which is why I have the words at the tip of my tongue but still can't speak. Listening without any practice won't get me anywhere; I'll start recording myself speaking Japanese every day. I have the game Sashingo, and I think it will be enough to learn the correct pronunciation.

Practicing Hiragana


Japanese Textbooks: Reading And Writing

The biggest hurdle on this learning journey is Hiragana and Katakana. At the start of my learning journey, I got 2 textbooks, one on Hiragana and Katakana and the other on Kanji. I have been practising my reading and writing for months, but it still feels like I just started learning the characters. The progress is so slow that I still haven't used the kanji textbooks and don't know when I'll finally be able to.

When I was researching how to learn Japanese, most people recommended starting with Hiragana and Katakana; they compared them to our alphabet, and you can't learn a language without knowing the alphabet first. The funny thing is that it's supposed to be the easiest part of learning Japanese, and yet here I am struggling with these "easy" characters.

This is frustrating and hurting me the most because It's important to me to read in Japanese. There are so many books and novels written by Japanese authors I would love to read, but it's starting to feel like one of those things you try really hard to achieve only to fail at the end. I think I need to take a step back to reflect on why I'm feeling stagnant; maybe I'm putting too much pressure on myself, and the fact that I haven't been able to make the trip after years of planning is definitely affecting me too.

At this point, I can't help but wonder if it's possible to learn a difficult language like Japanese on your own. Since there is no one to give feedback on what I'm doing to improve, I'm not sure if I'm doing well. Anyway, I'll keep practising but won't put too much pressure on myself. I didn't become fluent in English overnight; it took me years, and I'll just have to be patient and keep going. I'm sure all the time and effort invested will finally pay off when I read my first book in Japanese...

Thank you for reading!


"What am I doing getting out of bed so early on a Sunday morning?!" I said to myself as I sat on my bed. I set my alarm for 3 am the night before to have enough time to travel to Central London. I wanted to see the sun rise over Buckingham Palace, and I wondered whether to go back to sleep.

I changed the direction of my travel channel to sunrise and sunset walking tours instead of vlogs. I don't regret it, but it doesn't mean getting out of bed first thing in the morning became easier, especially in summer. The sun rises at 4 am and doesn't set until 10 pm, which means I have to go out either very early in the morning or late in the evening.

There are no trains at that time, and it would take a little over an hour to get to Buckingham Palace. I quietly walked into the kitchen to make myself a cup of coffee before heading out. Everyone was still asleep, and I tried moving around as quietly as possible.

I've never wondered what Buckingham Palace looked like at sunrise before starting my walking videos, although I was reluctant to go out at such an hour. I was looking forward to seeing the sun rise over London, especially Buckingham Palace and St James's Park!


Cardinal Place, Victoria Station


Victoria Station At Dawn

It took an hour on a quiet Sunday morning to go from South London to Victoria Station by bus. It can take up to 2 hours during rush hour, and 30 minutes by train. The train and tube are the best ways to get around London, but there's a lot of service disruption, and they don't start until later on Sundays.

For anyone planning to visit London, make sure to book accommodation in Central London if you don't want to spend most of your stay commuting. It won't be cheap, but considering the cost of transport and commute time, it will be worth it.

After getting off the bus, I walked through Cardinal Place, a shopping centre in Victoria Station. It's one of my favourite routes to get to Buckingham Palace. Victoria Station is a good starting point for a fun day out in Westminster. There are many restaurants where you can grab breakfast or lunch before going on a little exploration, as mentioned in a previous post, London At Sunset: Westminster.

Victoria Station and Green Park are the nearest train stations to Buckingham Palace, but I would recommend Victoria Station as it is the closest. Cardinal Place is 5 minutes away from Buckingham Palace and 15 minutes away from Westminster Abbey and Parliament Square, or Big Ben if you prefer.

Once I was in Cardinal Place, I turned left at the escalator, went straight until the end of the road and then turned right. Buckingham Palace came into view after a few steps. I'll never get tired of the scene, even though I've seen it countless times. It was even better on a quiet Sunday morning; the roads were empty apart from some joggers and a few passing cars.


Buckingham Palace at dawn


The Sun On Buckingham Palace

As I got closer to the palace, I couldn't help but notice how breathtaking Queen Victoria Memorial was at dawn. But I didn't choose the right time to visit; there were still traces of the Commonwealth event from the day before. Everything was closed off, and I couldn't move around as much as I wanted; the photos taken weren't aesthetically pleasing.

London always gets busy in the summer, and many events take place all over the city, which can be both fun and inconvenient. I ran into a couple of tourists taking photos at the Queen Victoria Memorial and couldn't help but smile. It was a smart move to get out of bed for early-morning sightseeing.

Buckingham Palace is always included in London's itinerary, especially for a first visit. And since most people on holiday don't wake up early, the place is always packed later in the day, making it hard to take a good photo without random people in the background.

Although I live here, I always prefer to visit touristy places at dawn or late in the evening when it isn't too crowded. For me, it's the best time to fully appreciate London's beauty, and moreover, I don't have to deal with tourists and rude Londoners. I just don't like being in crowded places, and yes, Londoners live up to their reputation.

After admiring Buckingham Palace in the morning sun, I turned around and walked up the stairs to the memorial. When I brought my daughters to London in 2021, the monument was closed for repairs, and they didn't get to see it up close. I can't wait to take them on a tour when they visit. The calming sound of the water fountain made me feel at peace, and I smiled at the giggling ladies taking photos.


Flags and colourful flowers


Flags & Summer Flowers 

I walked down the stairs on the side of the memorial facing The Mall. There were steel barriers all around, but it still looked beautiful, especially with the flags blowing in the wind. I went back up the stairs and walked to the farther left side of the memorial to look at the flowers near Green Park.

I only found out last year that the park on the other side of Buckingham Palace is Green Park. I used to think it was part of Hyde Park Corner, and I visited the park for the first time when I went to a Japanese festival in Trafalgar Square last September.

My first trip to London was in the spring of 2007. I stayed for a few months and even studied for a while before leaving, and all this time, I didn't know there was a park called Green Park near Buckingham Palace. That's the thing about life in a big city like London: you won't see or know everything unless you're told or specifically look for it.

The gardens around the palace are absolutely gorgeous. The London Eye and Big Ben can be seen on the other side of the memorial as shown in the photo above. London Eye can be seen in many parts of London if you look closely enough, and I love it. I usually look out for it whenever I go out, especially in Central London, and it's even more visible at night due to its blue lights.

Watching the sun shine over St James' Park is one of the most beautiful scenes you'll see in London. It looked like it came out of a painting with rays of the sun through the clouds, the lake, the plants, the Horse Guards clock tower, and finally London Eye. I would love to see a painting of this scenery!


Beautiful scenery at St James' Park


The Royal St James Park

After taking in the scenery at Queen Victoria Memorial, I walked back towards Buckingham Palace to go to Green Park, but there were still barriers and tents all over the place. So I turned right at the traffic lights to head to St James's Park instead. I wanted to visit both parks and take some photos, but there isn't much to see in Green Park, and St James's Park is actually more beautiful with its lake, wildlife, flowers and landscape.

I crossed the traffic lights at The Mall and walked towards the park. At the entrance, there is information about the changing of the guards. I went to one on a Sunday last summer, and it was so packed I left, so I'm planning to go again on a weekday. 

St James's Park isn't one of my favourite parks in London; I actually prefer Greenwich Park, but it's a beautiful park. Everything about it reminds you that it was "designed" for the royal family; it's one of the few parks in London that has pelicans. There are also swans and geese, but pelicans aren't commonly found in parks. 

So if you're planning to visit, make sure to take a few photos of the birds by the water stream; they look majestic. The wildlife is used to visitors and roams freely; be mindful and watch your steps. This is actually one of the reasons I prefer Greenwich Park: the chances of stepping on a baby duck are low.

St James' Park is a few minutes' walk away from Trafalgar Square, the Horse Guards, Big Ben, and Westminster Abby. Its location makes it a good spot for a short break between landmarks. You can enjoy the beautiful scenery while resting your feet, and taking a photo on the small bridge is a must for anyone visiting London.

I also took a photo in Buckingham Palace and the small bridge in St James's Park on my first visit, and haven't done it since...

Thank you for reading!



I thought my mum was going to drive me crazy after spending a few weeks with her, and I love her, but it's so good to be back in my safe space here in London. I went to France last month to visit my mother, who was unwell at the time, and during my stay, she reminded me of why I prefer to live in England.

I know it's been a while since my last post, but the internet wasn't working at my place when I came back, and I decided to take a break and relax. I wonder sometimes if anyone even finds my blog interesting, and it can be discouraging, so it was good to take a much-needed break.

It was great to see my family and spend time with them, and I found myself playing peacemaker between my mother and my younger brother. He was my mother's favourite child growing up, and now he barely speaks to her. Sons really do change after getting married. 

She apologised for being cold and strict with me when I was younger. I didn't say anything since being ignored by a son you treated like a king is a punishment I wouldn't wish on anyone. And I'm grateful for not having a son, after seeing how my younger brother had been treating our mother. 

I went on a day out in the neighbourhood where I lived as a teenager. It brought back so many memories of a time when I was an innocent and pampered girl. A few days after I arrived, my mother hooked me up with a doctor from her old job. Can you believe it? It made me wonder if she hasn't been faking her health issues. She told me that I left her no choice since I'm not making any effort to find a man...


My First Date In Months

It felt like an ambush when she broke the news, but I agreed to go on the blind date nonetheless since she already arranged it. It was my first date in months, and I wasn't looking forward to it, to be honest. I'm so used to being on my own now that I'm not sure if I still have any tolerance for other people in my space, especially men.

The plan was to meet at a restaurant for a meal and maybe do something fun afterwards if it went well. The guy looked fine, and looks don't matter to me as long as a man is well put together and smells good. I gave him 2 kisses on the cheeks, a normal French greeting, and then he took my hand. I thought it was a pretty bold move, but didn't say anything.

He complimented me on my looks and said I was pretty, and then asked if I was mixed. It was a pretty funny thing to say, considering that my mother introduced us, so I asked him why he thought I was mixed. "You don't have typical black women features; you have small eyes, and your facial structure is also different. Is there some Asian mix in you?"

I burst out laughing because I get it a lot; it's been going on since childhood. People made fun of my small eyes, round face and chubby cheeks, but it doesn't bother me anymore. So I told him I was fully black and my family roots can be traced to the Republic of Congo in Central Africa. Most people are used to West African features because of the transatlantic slave trade, and I look different because I'm not West African.

It was good to go on a date and speak to him, but he made me feel uncomfortable as he couldn't take his eyes off my boobs. He's definitely a "boobs guy", and I just don't get men's fascination with breasts, big or small. There wasn't a second date, as I would rather have a man looking into my eyes when he's talking to me than ogling my boobs.

Photo by Giulia Bertelli


Happy In My Safe Space

Although I appreciate my mother's effort to help me find a man, I couldn't wait to leave and now that I'm back in my safe space in London. I'm looking forward to doing some fun activities this summer. I'm currently watching the World Cup, and I've been making plans for when it ends.

There's still so much to see and do, and I've been focusing on creating walking-tour content in London and across the UK. I'm going on a day trip to a nearby city in a couple of weeks for a festival. I'm taking a break from reading as it's too hot. Can anyone read and enjoy a book during a heatwave? I sure can't, so I'll pick up my novels again in autumn. I miss making handmade stuff, and I want to start crocheting again. I already found a tutorial video on YouTube for a beautiful scarf.

I also decided to postpone my trip to Japan to next year, and this is the last time I'll postpone it. If for some reason I'm no longer able to go next year, I'll have to give up on it. Something always seems to get in the way whenever I make plans to visit Japan; maybe it isn't meant to be, and it's important to know when to let go of your childhood dreams. So it's next year or never, but I'm not planning on giving up on learning Japanese.

I'm still going to work hard, and hopefully one day, I'll finally speak and even read Japanese. It's a shame that I can't make the trip this year, as I really wanted to see Kingdom in theatres this July. It can't be helped, and I heard that it's extremely hot in summer, so it's best to visit in autumn next year.

I also want to say that I lost over 5kg during my trip to France, and I'm feeling and looking good. My clothes fit better, and more importantly, my breasts are getting smaller. My back doesn't hurt as much as it used to, and it's great, although I still want to lose more weight. Ideally, I would like to lose 15 kg by autumn this year, so wish me luck!

Thank you for reading!


You are probably tired of me talking about how great it was to grow up in the 90s and early 00s. I know it's becoming repetitive and annoying, but I'll never get tired of talking about it. It was truly a great time, especially for me after discovering anime. I'm serious when I say it's one of the best things to ever happen to me, and it helped me become the woman I am today.

And I'm not the only one who feels this way. I came across a YouTube channel about the 80s and 90s anime openings in French, and you should've seen the comments people left. I always go back to that channel when I feel nostalgic and want to remember the happy and carefree days. Back then, anime was so deep and moving that it inspired us to do better and become better people.

I don't watch anime as much as I used to, and when I do, I prefer seinen and shonen even though I mostly watched shoujo growing up. Modern shoujo heroines aren't as driven as they were in the 70s, 80s and 90s. The first shoujo anime I watched was Lady Oscar or The Rose of Versailles (Berusaiyu no Bara). 

It's a well-written story with complex character growth, intrigue, and romance, making it a classic. The only shoujo that comes close to me is Revolutionary Girl Utena. It might be controversial to some, but I think it's a well-written story with a female lead who finds a purpose, which is exactly what's missing from most modern-day shoujo.

Lady Oscar, The Rose of Versailles


Anime That Inspired Me As A Child

I'm not trying to trash modern-day shoujo or anime in general; there are some good shoujo out there, but it just doesn't feel the same anymore. I already mentioned it in a previous post, but I mean it when I say that shoujo anime inspired me to get into volleyball. And it wasn't the only sport I practised because of anime; I joined a gymnastics club after watching Hikari no Densetsu, known as Legend of Light, or Cynthia ou Le Rythme De La Vie for French speakers like myself.

I was born into a family that loves sports. Although all my siblings practice a sport, I struggled to find which one I wanted to get into. So I did a bit of everything, even though I mostly played football with my brothers until I started watching an anime where the heroine wanted to become a national champion in rhythmic gymnastics.

It isn't the best sports anime out there, not even the best sports shoujo, but there was just something about Hikari that moved me. She was willing to do whatever it takes to achieve her dream, and I admired her for it. This anime made me fall in love with gymnastics, and I loved it so much that I asked my parents if I could join a gymnastics club.

My dream of being a gymnast was shattered when one of the coaches told my parents that I was too tall for gymnastics. I won't make it as a gymnast, and it would be best for me to find another sport. He suggested basketball since I was tall, but I wasn't interested, so I quit and lost interest in sports until I watched Attack No.1 or Atakku Nanbā Wan, also known as Les Attaquantes for French speakers.

Hikari Kamijou, Legend of Light


A Girl With A Purpose

A coach shattered my dream of becoming a gymnast because of my height, and I cried my eyes out even though I already knew that I was tall for a girl. I was always the tallest girl in my class, even though it made me feel self-conscious; I never thought that my height could become a problem. After leaving the gymnastics club, I gave up on sports and only played football with my brothers because it was fun.

I was still a child, and it was a hard pill to swallow. I just couldn't move on to another sport, and nothing mattered to me until I watched an anime about a middle schooler who turned her school's female delinquents into volleyball players. Kozue Ayuhara didn't just introduce me to volleyball; she made me fall in love with the sport to the point that I was fully committed for years.

I still remember the smile on my father's face when I told him I wanted to join a volleyball club, 2 of my sisters played handball, one played basketball, and the other was a runner. Asking my parents to join a gymnastics club probably felt out of place, but they were supportive nonetheless and couldn't hide their joy when I got into volleyball.

It may seem ridiculous to practice a sport just because of anime, but I truly enjoy playing volleyball and considered going pro, but my body had other plans. I gave up on it when jumping became painful and uncomfortable. If you read my post about The Struggles Of Having Big Boobs, you'll understand what I mean. The time I played volleyball was some of the happiest years of my life, and I've encouraged my daughters to get into sports. My youngest is a runner, and my oldest is playing basketball.

Kozue Ayuhara, Attack No.1


My Favourite Sports Anime

Baseball isn't big in Europe, and I don't know anything about it, but I loved watching Ace of Diamond or Daiya no Ēsu. I can't tell how excited I was when I heard about the new anime; it's my favourite sports anime of the 2010s after Kuroko's Basket, or Kuroko no Basuke. I still watch Kuroko's Basket just to hear Aomine Daiki’s voice; that's what I call a sexy voice.

Now I'm going to share some of my favourite sports anime, if you are an anime fan but don't care for sports anime. I hope you'll check them out, and if you aren't into anime, I do hope you'll give them a try and who knows, you might actually love it. This might be controversial, but I prefer Ao Ashi to Blue Lock!

  • Captain Tsubasa
  • Ashita no Joe / Tomorrow Joe
  • Aim for the Ace / Jeu, Set et Match
  • Slam Dunk
  • Megalobox
  • Initial D
  • Attack No.1
  • Free!
  • Ace of Diamond
  • Hajime no Ippo
  • Haikyu!!
  • Hikari no Densetsu
  • Kuroko's Basket
  • The Prince of Tennis
  • Ao Ashi

Hiromi Oka, Aim for the Ace

Thank you for reading!

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Hello! My name is Salomé, and this blog is a reflection of my journey, filled with honest stories, lessons learned, and the beauty of reinvention. Join me as I explore the challenges and opportunities of creating a new narrative in this exciting chapter of my life.

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