Photo by Kat Von Wood

Favouritism And Conflict

I've been thinking about my dad.

What Would He Think

Photo by Deon Black

"Are you disappointed that I'm not sleeping around?" I quietly asked my mother.

"I'm not asking you to jump in bed with any man; I'm just worried about you. When was the last time you were interested enough in a man to sleep with him? Are you planning to live like a nun for the rest of your life?" She muttered.

"I can't force you to get married, and you can stay single if that's what you want, but at least have another child", she continued. I pulled the phone away from my ear, rolled my eyes and then said, "I'm not taking the risk of catching an std to give you a grandchild. You never wanted me to be too 'friendly' with men, and now you're encouraging me to sleep around. Old age is scary!"

I didn't want to drag this inappropriate conversation, so I told her I would call back later and hung up. I'll never get used to talking about sex with my mother. I may be in my 40s now, but it's still embarrassing and inappropriate. How did I even get myself in this situation? You didn't ask, but I'll still tell you because it's my blog, and I can overshare whatever I want.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I've been pretty stressed lately, and I haven't been enjoying life as much as I did a few months ago. It got so bad that I stopped talking to everyone except for my mother, and I haven't been to my sister's house or spoken to her for weeks. It's not like she's looking for me either, so I've been quietly living my life here in London.

I might as well say it as it is: I'm depressed because nothing is going as planned, and I have no choice but to come up with a new one. I'm planning to turn things around in the next few months; I've been busy trying to sort out the mess that is my life right now, making plans and keeping my promise to my daughters. My life is very stressful, and I opened up to my mother, and you'll never guess what she told me afterwards.

"You wouldn't feel so drained if you had sex more often. Men have their usefulness, you know and even more so in the bedroom. Having sex at least 3 times a week will make you enjoy life more and feel less stressed. Why do you think I keep telling you to get yourself a husband?" 

Photo by Maria Talks

A Life Of Abstinence

Photo by Deon Black

Are Men Still Sexually Attractive

I was walking to my nearest train station when I felt the first drops of rain on my shoulders. "I thought it wouldn't rain until 7 this evening. What's going on?" I thought to myself as I picked up the pace. I noticed the rain clouds and checked the weather app before leaving, but it seemed the estimated time was wrong. 

I was on my way to Central London to make content, but I had to turn around and head back home as I didn't think I would make it to the train station. It was raining heavily, and I was already soaking wet from head to toe. Although I enjoy making walking videos, it wouldn't be good for me to walk around in wet clothes, so I had no other choice but to go home and postpone it for another day. 

I thought it would be interesting to make a video walking in the rain after weeks of heatwaves, but I didn't expect it to rain so heavily. As mentioned in my previous post, It's Too Hot In England, we are going through one of the hottest summers in the UK, which led to a drought. It didn't rain for over 50 days, and the green spaces around London turned a burned yellow. 

So let me take you back to the days when the rain stopped falling, and London was nothing but heatwaves and drought. Walking is one of my favourite hobbies, as it helps me manage my weight and clear my mind. Life hasn't been great for me since moving to London, and walking is what has helped me keep going for over a year in this beautiful city. 

So I started making videos of my walks and trips across the UK, and I recently shifted my channel towards morning and evening walks. I usually go out early in the morning or in the late evening to catch sunrise and sunset for my walking tour videos. I captured the changes London experienced during the heatwaves through my lens.

Charlton House at Sunset, Charlton Park

When The Rain Stopped

Walking on parched grass in a park

When Summer Feels Like Autumn

At the beginning of 2026, it rained every day until Spring. I have been in England long enough to get used to the rain, especially after living in Manchester. But it was just too much earlier this year, so I can't tell you how excited I was when spring finally came.

I thought we'd have mild temperatures until the end of summer, but I couldn't have been more wrong. We have been going through a heatwave, and it's been announced that some parts of the UK are officially in drought. 

It's so hot these days, I'm constantly feeling exhausted and can't focus at all. I've been drinking plenty of water and using a fan, but completing the smallest task is draining even at night. It's the main reason my YouTube channel is inactive.

I locked myself in my room to make content, and the heat was just too unbearable, especially without the fan since I couldn't use it because of the noise. So I took a short break to reconsider the direction of my channel. I also renamed it to share the behind-the-scenes stories of the places I visit. The plan was to start making videos during my recent trips to Manchester and Liverpool, but I couldn't bring myself to record in a heatwave.

I'll make a blog post of my day trip to Liverpool. As mentioned above, it's too hot to lock myself in a room and make videos, so new videos will be available on my channel from September, and I'll talk about the trip in more detail.

It hasn't been easy to focus and write in this weather, but I'll keep doing my best, and hopefully the weather will cool down soon. I'll keep going to the park to relax and come up with new topics for my upcoming posts. Have a good day and stay hydrated!

Thank you for reading!

A Slow And Simple Life

Photo by Abigail Ducote

Baby Steps To Mindful Living

Happiness Is Simple

In my early 20s, I was still a naive woman who thought the world was a happy place where everyone got along. It may seem ridiculous, but it's the truth: my parents were very protective, and I lived a sheltered life. So I didn't get to interact with people outside my family; that's why I didn't know that much about the world and people in general. Hence, I'm making this post about some life lessons learned in my 20s.

I spent my childhood and teens hidden in my bedroom, reading books and watching anime away from the realities of this world. I left my parents' home for the first time to go to university; I moved to another city and lived with my uncle. And my uncle's wife taught me my very first lesson on how people will make you feel unwelcome without saying it to your face.

Some lessons are better learned the hard way, and what a learning experience it has been since leaving my parents' home. I was raised to be kind, honest and treat people with respect, but we live in a world where kindness is seen as weakness. So I met a lot of people who tried to bully me, thinking I was weak and stupid, especially at work. Some of my worst experiences happened in the corporate world; I guess people don't stop being bullies after high school. 

I used to let things slide, thinking that ignoring rude and mean people was better than interacting with them, but being the bigger person is a mistake, as it encourages disrespect. Bullies keep being bullies because they aren't called out and held accountable for their behaviour; it actually says a lot about this world when people expect someone who's been treated badly to just forget and move on. Anyway, these are some of the hardest life lessons I learned in my 20s.

You Can't Fully Trust People

Photo by Hannah Rodrigo

Having Expectations Hurts

Be Kind Instead Of Being Nice

I thought my mum was going to drive me crazy after spending a few weeks with her, and I love her, but it's so good to be back in my safe space here in London. I went to France last month to visit my mother, who was unwell at the time, and during my stay, she reminded me of why I prefer to live in England.

I know it's been a while since my last post, but the internet wasn't working at my place when I came back, and I decided to take a break and relax. I wonder sometimes if anyone even finds my blog interesting, and it can be discouraging, so it was good to take a much-needed break.

It was great to see my family and spend time with them, and I found myself playing peacemaker between my mother and my younger brother. He was my mother's favourite child growing up, and now he barely speaks to her. Sons really do change after getting married. 

She apologised for being cold and strict with me when I was younger. I didn't say anything since being ignored by a son you treated like a king is a punishment I wouldn't wish on anyone. And I'm grateful for not having a son, after seeing how my younger brother had been treating our mother. 

I went on a day out in the neighbourhood where I lived as a teenager. It brought back so many memories of a time when I was an innocent and pampered girl. A few days after I arrived, my mother hooked me up with a doctor from her old job. Can you believe it? It made me wonder if she hasn't been faking her health issues. She told me that I left her no choice since I'm not making any effort to find a man...

My First Date In Months

Photo by Giulia Bertelli

Happy In My Safe Space

I was scrolling on TikTok the other day when I came across a disgusting story. It kept me up all night, and it made me feel like being single might just be a blessing because of what some women have to deal with. A lady shared a story of how she found her husband doing it with their dog. I won't use the same words I would use if the story was about 2 people doing it. So if you get it, good; if not, stay innocent.

She was 8 months pregnant when she walked in on her husband with their dog; the husband didn't notice her and doesn't know that she knows. She can't bring herself to be intimate with him anymore since that day; she's disgusted when she thinks of what he's been doing behind her back. Being a woman is so exhausting!

This man insisted on getting a female dog because they are "softer". It makes you wonder why?! Why would anyone go for an animal when there are plenty of women or men out there? Is anything off-limits anymore? People make fun of me for being single in my 40s, but am I really missing out, and is marriage as great as people make it seem? Especially when you come across stories like this.

My life may be lonely right now, but I'm happy and healthy. I know I'm not doing anything crazy and have nothing to worry about, but would it still be the case if I got into a relationship, since you don't know what these men are up to? I found peace since becoming single, no drama, no fights and no other nonsense, which is why I'm so reluctant to give it up for a relationship.

The Exhaustion Of Being A Woman

This is the look of exhaustion.

Marrying For The Sake Of Marrying

Photo by Kamilla Isalieva

I got a call from one of my siblings the other day to inform me that our elderly mother isn't well, and I'll already be in France by the time this post is published this weekend. I'm heading back to France to care for my mother. The plan is to stay for a couple of weeks, but I might stay longer. 

I lost my father a few years ago, and one of my biggest regrets is that I never got to say goodbye. I couldn't be by his side, and I don't want it to happen again. My mother is the only parent I have left, and I want to be by her side even though her condition isn't life-threatening.

I resented my dad for years, and now I wish we had made peace when he was still alive. My mother and I argued about my trip to Japan; she thought I should focus on finding a husband. I was so upset that I stopped speaking to her; that's why I have to apologise. I'll even start looking for a man as long as she gets better!

Thank you for reading!

Photo by Brett Jordan

I was cleaning my desk the other day when I found my iPod; it looks exactly like the one in the picture above. I took it in my hand, sat down and smiled, thinking about the good old days. I purchased it a couple of years ago when I was feeling nostalgic about the 00s, when we listened to music without being interrupted by phone notifications.

I collected all sorts of antique and vintage items over the years, including a Polaroid camera, VHS tapes and a player, teacups and games. I sold most of my collection before moving to London, and my iPod is one of the few items I kept. Although I haven't used it for months, it holds a special place in my heart and reminds me of a time when I lived a carefree life.

When That 00s Nostalgia Hits You

Photo by Ben Griffiths

What I Miss About The 00s

What To Bring Back From The 00s

The struggle these boobs have put me through

The Struggle to Find A Fitting Bra

The angle matters a lot.

Your Looks Depend On The Angle

I had tried dating, but it made me feel like I had to chase a man and convince him to be with me. I grew up in a time when men expressed their feelings and pursued women when they wanted them, and what's the point of being with someone if you have to list the reasons they should be with you if they can't see it for themselves?! When I like a man, I'll show interest, and if the feeling isn't mutual, I'd rather move on than cling to him, hoping that his feelings will change one day.

Is that the reason I haven't been in a relationship for years? I can't say for sure, but I honestly believe that a man would move mountains if he's into you. So every time a man I was talking to started playing hard to get, I lost interest and moved on, thinking he's not that into me, because if he was, he wouldn't make it so difficult for us to be together. As a working single mother, my life wasn't easy, and the last thing I needed was to stress over a man. So at some point, I just gave up and told myself that if there is a man out there for me, I'll meet him sooner or later, and that's how I ended up where I am today. 

Alone And Single In My 40s

Family Pressure To Get Married

I went to the doctor's the other day to get a referral, and while I was speaking to the receptionist, she told me that I'm due for a smear test and there is a slot available on the same day. Mind you, I've been ignoring text messages and emails from my previous doctor for a smear test for years, and I felt ambushed since there was no reason to turn her down. A smear test or cervical screening is a preventive test done on women over 25 to find or monitor cells that might cause cancer.

I had my last smear test in 2019. As the daughter of a retired midwife, I understand how important it is for a woman; however, a childhood experience makes it hard for me to go to the doctor's. My period flow became heavier a few years ago, and it's been an embarrassing experience every month as I not only stain my clothes but also the bedding and everything else I sit or sleep on. It even happened at my new job last month, and luckily for me, I was dressed in black, and my coat covered it up.

When it started getting worse each month, I didn't bother making an appointment to see a doctor and even ignored letters and text messages about having a smear test. I went about my life as if it was normal to stain your bedding every month. Although I care about my health, I can't stand doctors and nurses because of my mother. I already mentioned in my post, The Real Reason I'm Still Single, that I grew up in a conservative family, and most traditional families are strict with their daughters. In my case, my mother valued my virginity more than anything and was willing to do whatever it took to keep me a virgin until marriage.

Helicopter Parenting & Trust Issues

Struggling With Intimacy