The Struggle Of Having Big Boobs

"Is bra shopping as stressful for other women as it is for me?! I asked myself as I picked up a t-shirt bra, and then put it back after checking the size. I decided to buy myself a couple of bras for the warm days, as I learned from experience that a lace bra under a t-shirt will draw a lot of attention to a woman with big boobs. The struggle of having big boobs is real, and we don't talk about it enough. I have always been a quiet person who tried not to draw any attention to herself, and it worked pretty well until I hit puberty. Once my body started changing and my breasts got bigger, people couldn't help but notice me. 

In my teens, I was tall for my age, very skinny, with big boobs, so people would look at me in awe at the size of my boobs. I was already a D cup at 15 and was so embarrassed by their size that I started hunching my back to hide them. I remember my mum slapping me on the back every time I walked past her; don't even get me started with the jokes men made about me. There was this time when I walked into a store to buy a few things, and the cashier asked me, "How is the baby?" I was confused and replied, "What baby? I'm just 15, I don't have a baby. Then he said Oh my god, what's up with the boobs...

I have been carrying a big load on my chest since hitting puberty; my boobs were already so big at a young age that it made me feel self-conscious. Most women's breasts shrink after childbirth, yet mine got bigger after 2 pregnancies, and I'm now a G cup in my 40s. Every time I hear some women say how much they would love to have bigger boobs, I usually just chuckle. I have been carrying a big load on my chest for over 3 decades, and if I had the chance to relive my life all over again, I'd wish for smaller boobs. Some people might want or lust for big boobs, but most women who have them naturally will tell you what a struggle it is to shop for clothes and bras that fit and deal with back pain...

Nothing stresses me more than the lingerie section of a clothing store. I mean, it's so hard to find a good-fitting bra from DDs. After my second pregnancy, I went from DD to G, and I only found the right size after purchasing multiple bras that didn't fit at all. I still have some of them at home, and I'm still delusional enough to think that my boobs will shrink one day so that a D cup will fit me again. Although I'm a grown and confident woman, I still feel self-conscious when I'm out shopping for lingerie. It used to feel like a walk of shame to go to the cashier after picking up a few bras; it made me wonder if they would laugh at the size of my bra or make a joke with their colleagues after I'm gone. 

I know people are losing their jobs due to self-checkouts, but I'm grateful for them when shopping for lingerie. My love for sexy and cute lingerie started when I was a teen; even though I wasn't allowed to date, I always wore nice underwear. It's actually one of my aunts who bought me my first lace underwear and bra, complete with hold-ups. My mother was so mad when I got home that she told me to never visit my aunt again. She had a pretty bad reputation, but I thought she was cool and told me to always have nice underwear, no matter how raggedy I may look. I took her advice and have been spending a lot of money on lingerie even though I'm not in a relationship with anyone.

So I go all out when I'm shopping for a bra and underwear, as a woman with big boobs, a fitting bra doesn't come cheap. It's always worth it to invest in a fitted bra, as it helps with back pain, so having big boobs is costly, painful and stressful. I usually just chuckle when I hear some women talk about how they would love to have big boobs. Do you know what else is hard to find when you have big boobs?! Clothes that fit and make you look good. I'm currently on a weight loss journey and look smaller than I did last year, but my clothes are still 2 sizes bigger to have enough room for my boobs.

As I mentioned above, I don't wear tight-fitting clothes or clothes in my size to have enough room around my chest. It's the reason I didn't realise I had gained weight during the lockdown. My clothes are always 2 to 3 sizes bigger and have always been after puberty. So it makes no difference whether I lose weight or not; I'll still look fat and wear bigger clothes, which isn't bad, as it saves me money. It's just that I don't like looking at myself from the side; to be honest, my boobs make me look bigger than I am, and it's frustrating when I'm putting in so much effort into losing weight. 

When you have big boobs, you have to be extra careful when picking an outfit. I'm a tall woman, so I get away with most outfits, but I still avoid tight clothes and wear t-shirts and strap dresses only with a shirt on top. I don't usually show my arms and shoulders, and prefer forward-facing rather than my side when taking photos or speaking to people. A slouching posture makes my boobs look bigger and lower, whether I'm standing or sitting, so I'm always trying to have good posture, even though it aches my back to sit or stand for too long. My breasts are the main reason I'm camera-shy, as I usually don't like the way I look in photos, but I've been making a lot of effort since starting my solo travel journey. 

It would be a shame to visit a new country or city without taking any photos, and I took the photos above during a recent trip to Manchester. This is a start, considering that I don't post photos of myself on this blog, but I wanted to give you an idea of what I mean by the struggle of having big boobs. I'm not the only woman in my family to have big boobs; one of my sisters even had reduction surgery. She looks so much better now, and her back pain is gone. I thought about getting one instead of going to Japan, but what would be the point now?! I'd rather support my daughters if they inherit these boobs and need to get reduction surgery to ease the "burden"...