Salomé Living

After Mass, I walked slowly to the candle stand to light a candle and burn an incense stick for my dad. It's been over a decade since he passed away, and this time of year is still as painful as it was on the day of his funeral. After saying a silent prayer for my dad and myself, I put some coins in the donation box and left.

This month is a bittersweet month for my family because it's his birth month, and he also died in October. We are currently celebrating his 81st birthday as well as his death anniversary; it's also the time when I'm filled with so much regret. He wasn't perfect, but he was a decent father, and I wish I had appreciated him more when he was still with us.

I took for granted the safety and comfort my parents provided for my siblings and me. After leaving home and seeing the world for what it really is, I realised I had been blessed to have lived such a sheltered life. I wish I could've shown more love and understanding to my dad instead of resenting him for his infidelities and favouritism.

Arranged marriages were common back in the day, and both my parents were married and had children with their cousins. My dad's first wife was his cousin on his mother's side, and my mother was forced to marry her dad's nephew even though she loved another man. Back then, children had no say in their own marriage; their parents chose their spouses; most of the time, they married within their own family.

Photo by Kat Von Wood

Favouritism And Conflict

One of the most disappointing moments of my life was when my dad refused to help me get an internship even though his company had hired 2 of my siblings. It was obvious to everyone that he treated his children from his marriage to his cousin differently, but I was hurt. He made me feel like I wasn't as good as them; that's when I started resenting him.

His blatant favouritism is the reason they claimed all his assets after he passed. My brother and I didn't get anything; even the son he had with his mistress was raised by my mother after his death, since none of his other children or his family wanted to help. Have you ever heard of a wife raising her husband's illegitimate son because both his parents have died?!

I grew up in a safe home; my parents provided for me, and I didn't experience any abuse, but I can't say that I was loved. My mother was strict and cold; my dad was too busy and had too many children to pay attention to me, and of the 2 children my mother gave him. His favourite was my younger brother since he's his spitting image. Even my mother has shown more love to my father's illegitimate son than to me.

I started resenting him after he refused to help with an internship; it was the day I stopped asking for help and relying on people. And when I had the opportunity to move abroad, I left without looking back, which is why I get annoyed at my mother for meddling with my life. She wasn't there for me when I needed her the most as a child, so why is she trying so hard now that I'm grown and can take care of myself?!

I've been thinking about my dad.

What Would He Think

My mother disappointed me many times, and I resented my dad for years, but they're still my parents. Sometimes I can't help but wonder what my life would've been like if I was honest about my feelings. Maybe I wouldn't have felt like moving abroad to get away from everyone. At the time of my dad's passing, I was in my late 20s and had to quit my job to be a stay-at-home mother with a newborn child.

He was already gone when my relationship fell apart, and I became a struggling single mother of 2. I may not have been his favourite child, but I'm sure it wasn't the life he had wanted for me. I feel relieved whenever I think that my dad didn't have to see me struggle, but at the same time, I also wish he could see how I picked myself up to get where I am now.

Would he be proud to have seen his obedient and shy daughter grow to become a responsible and self-reliant woman?! Or would he be disappointed to have an unmarried daughter and obsess over finding me a husband like my mother? Unlike my mother, he wasn't the type to force his ideas on people, and he never made a fuss about my elder sisters' marriages.

Maybe he wouldn't care at all. Anyway, I'm heading back home to spend time with my family and remember my dad. He wasn't perfect, but I'll always be grateful for the life he gave me when I was younger, and that's why I'll keep lighting a candle for him until the end of the month.

Thank you for reading!

My name is Salomé, a 42-year-old single woman who moved to London last year. I have never been a city person, but I'm trying my best to make the most of my time here, since I won't be moving again anytime soon. There isn't much going on with me, and I'm a pretty boring person, to be honest, but I want to share with you what a typical day in my life is like.

I wake up at 5 am every morning to either go for my walk for weight loss or watch videos in bed. I usually make plans on my days off, but I'm as unpredictable as I can be; I can change them on a whim or ignore them to stay in and watch a drama.

All this to say that I do random things depending on my mood; although I live a boring life, my days aren't the same. For today's post, I'm taking you back to the 3rd week of September, when I was feeling happy after my trips to Manchester and Liverpool.

Princess Diana's memorial walk

Breakfast and Morning Walk

On a random Thursday last month, I woke up earlier than usual to get ready for my weight loss walk. I chose Hyde Park in central London for the walk, and since it was quite a journey, I had to allow time for the commute. Despite years spent living and travelling to London, I can count on one hand how many times I've been to Hyde Park.

Moreover, I haven't seen half of it yet, and I thought it would be the perfect place to make my walk interesting and feel like an adventure. I went to the kitchen first to make bread dough to bake later. After breakfast- coffee and a bowl of cereal- I left home at 5:30 am and headed to Victoria Station; from there, I walked to Hyde Park, half an hour away.

The park was very quiet, with a few joggers and cyclists; sunrise is my favourite time to visit London. It's in the peace and quiet that you notice small things you normally wouldn't care about at rush hour. And that's how I noticed the Princess Diana Memorial Walk Trail for the first time, even though I've seen the pattern in the photo above in St James' Park.

The trail goes through 4 royal parks: St James Park, Green Park, Hyde Park and Kensington Gardens. I'm planning to follow the trail as part of my walk for weight loss, but it won't happen until spring. I could do it now, but I'd love to walk the trail when the flowers start blooming. I'm sure it would be a breathtaking scene; I'll make sure to share the moment on my blog and YouTube channel.

Koi fish in Kyoto Garden

A Stroll In Kyoto Garden

I was still in Hyde Park at nearly 8 am when I suddenly wanted to visit Kyoto Garden. It's now one of my favourite places in London, and I can't get enough of it. So I walked out of Hyde Park and hopped on bus 148 to White City, and I was in Holland Park in less than 20 minutes.

It's one of the most popular places in London, and it's usually packed with tourists and influencers. So I walked as fast as I could to get there and enjoy a quiet moment before they took over. I was nearly at the garden when it started raining, so I took cover under the trees and waited for it to stop since I didn't have an umbrella.

It didn't take long before the rain stopped. As I got closer to the garden entrance, I could hear the waterfall in the quiet morning. It was loud and soothing at the same time. I walked up the few stairs and finally stepped into the garden; it was empty except for a gay couple with a baby and a young woman who sat on one of the benches.

I followed a small trail leading to the waterfall but couldn't get closer because the gay couple was taking photos with their child. I stood patiently on the side to let them have their moment. Once they were done, they thanked me and walked away. I finally stood in front of the waterfall and laughed at the thought that it was actually the first waterfall I'd seen in my life. After looking at the fish for a few minutes, I walked to the other side of the garden and sat on a bench.

Homemade seeded artisan bread

Baking and Being Productive

I stayed in Kyoto Garden for nearly an hour, then went home. Once I was back home, I took a shower, changed into comfortable clothes and started working on my bread dough. I kneaded the dough for 15 minutes before letting it rest for an hour.

In the meantime, I completed a project I started a week earlier. I went back to the kitchen to put the dough in the oven, then came back to my room to do some research on another project. I was too distracted to focus on what I was doing, so I went to the kitchen to make myself a cup of coffee and check on the bread in the oven.

I was drinking my 3rd cup of coffee when I realised that I wasn't in the mood to finish what I was doing. So I turned off my pc and watched TikToks on my bed until the bread was ready. An hour later, I was dressed and ready to go out again. A nice meal and a little bit of shopping were exactly what I needed to clear my mind. Lingerie shopping, to be exact. It was time to treat myself to new bras.

I had already spent my morning in central London and wasn't planning on going back there, so I thought an afternoon in North Greenwich wouldn't be so bad. I arrived in North Greenwich after 3 pm, and it's my least favourite time to go out with all the kids out of school.

What a beautiful colour

Only Bras That Don't Fit

After seeing all the unruly school kids out there, I changed my plan to eat first, then go shopping. I'm less likely to run into kids in a lingerie shop than in a restaurant or a fast-food place, so it was better for me to go shopping first. Also, as a woman with big boobs, it won't be easy for me to find a bra that fits, so it was best to get the stressful part out of the way before enjoying a nice meal.

I get my bras from 3 different stores depending on what I'm looking for; Primark is my go-to store for T-shirt bras or everyday bras. M&S is where I get lace bras and underwear, and Boux Avenue is where I go when I want to feel sexy. I used to shop at Ann Summers a lot, but the quality isn't the same anymore.

The same thing seems to be happening with Primark because I couldn't find a decent T-shirt bra, although they had a beautiful collection of lace and silk bras. When I saw the pink bras, I couldn't help but think it would look good on me. I walked over quickly to look for my cup, but a girl can only dream.

The biggest size they had was DD, and I stopped wearing DD since my 2nd pregnancy. Also, when did they get so small?! I still remember when they looked like cereal bowls, so when did they get so small? Anyway, I spent nearly 2 hours in Primark looking for a bra, and I ended up getting one in Matalan. I haven't been in that store for ages and walked in only for nostalgia's sake, and it turned out to be a good thing.

Nothing makes me happier than sushi.

Encounter At A Sushi Bar

If you've been reading my blog for a while, you already know that sushi is my favourite meal to grab when I'm out and about. This particular meal was interesting because I met someone while I was waiting for my order. An older white man was staring at me when I was looking at the menu. I'm polite, friendly and always have a smile on my face, and he probably took it as an invitation to speak to me.

He seemed friendly, and I didn't mind, so we started talking, and then he asked me if I love eating sushi. I laughed and said I'd probably still eat it even if I didn't like it since I'm a pescatarian. He seemed confused at first and then said with a big smile: You eat only fish? Fish and seafood, I replied.

We then sat together, and he asked me all sorts of questions about my diet. I usually like eating alone, but I didn't mind his company. He's from Belgium, and it's always nice to meet someone who left their home to build a life abroad. I was eating a shrimp on rice when he looked at me again and said: You're so beautiful.

It was so unexpected that I almost dropped my food. Every woman wants to be called beautiful, and I'm not any different, but still it took me off guard. I smiled shyly and said You aren't bad yourself. Then he asked me for my number and said he wanted to see me again; that's how I was called beautiful in a sushi bar. Will I see him again? Who knows, but we've been in touch since that day, and it's nice to talk to him.

Watching a historical J-drama

A Quiet Moment In Bed

After a stimulating day, I made myself a cup of coffee and watched Gunshi Kanbei or Strategist Kanbei, on Netflix. I love watching historical J-dramas because I get to learn more about their history, even though they aren't always accurate. I had never heard of Kanbei until I started playing the Sengoku Basara games, and it's still one of my favourite games to this day.

When I got the news about my father's death, I sat in front of the TV and played the games until morning. I was still with the father of my daughters at the time and wondered if my dad had really died since I was playing games. Sengoku Basara helped me grieve my dad, and I love it so much that I ordered the latest game from Japan since it wasn't released in Europe or America.

My daughters and I used to play the game in Japanese; we don't read kanji, but somehow understood how it worked, and I gave it to them along with my PS4 when they went to live with their dad. I held on to a PS4 when everyone is using a PS5 because I want to keep playing the game.

Kanbei is one of the characters in the game. I didn't particularly like him, but I wanted to know more about him, which is why I had to watch the drama. Especially since Junichi Okada plays Kanbei, and his movies or dramas are always a must-watch. If you don't know who he is, he's the samurai protecting the girl in Last Samurai Standing on Netflix.

That's it for a day in my boring life. Thank you for reading!

It's been a while since I talked about a recipe I tried at home. As a child of immigrants, I grew up on African and French food, and I want to share one of the most popular African treats: Chin Chin, or Croquettes in French-speaking African countries. It's been one of my favourite treats since childhood, and I spent years buying them.

Although supermarket chin chin is good, it can't compare to fresh homemade ones. I finally made it at home for the first time. I want to emphasise the word "successfully" because I've been trying to make them for years but failed until now. Picking up baking after moving to London is one of the best things I've done in recent years; it's so much easier to bake and make food or treats that seem difficult.

The first time I tried, I added baking powder, and it made the dough rise. It looked more like small cakes than chin chin. Baking powder is optional and won't completely ruin the dough, but I prefer my chin chin crunchy, not soft and fluffy. If you want to make soft chin chin, please add baking powder. But remember the dough will rise, so you'll have to cut them very small.

Chin Chin dough

Making Chin Chin At Home

Every recipe has ingredients you can't mess with, and for chin chin, flour and butter completely change the taste and texture if you get the measurement wrong. My baking skills improved once I understood how important it is to use the exact measurements. Don't try to be creative unless you're certain it won't ruin your dough.

It isn't easy for everyone to follow instructions; I was that person until last year, which is why I didn't get better at baking until I started following the recipe exactly. Use 3 cups of flour if it says so; even 2 1/2 cups will change the dough texture and overhaul your baking experience. Now let me tell you how to make this delicious African treat.

Most ingredients are probably in your pantry, which is why chin chin is a popular treat in Africa. For a small batch of chin chin, you'll need

2 cups plain flour
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 Cup butter (melted or soft)
1 egg
1/2 Cup milk (whole or semi-skimmed)
1 tsp salt
1 tbsp vanilla
1 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tbsp baking powder (optional)
Oil for frying

Cutting the dough

No-knead dough

Kneading the dough is my least favourite part of baking since I have a bad shoulder and have to do it by hand. No worries, though; chin chin dough doesn't need kneading, and here's how to mix the ingredients. In a bowl, mix flour and soft or melted butter. Once it's well mixed together and looks flaky, add sugar, salt, and nutmeg. Egg, milk and vanilla will be the last to be added.

Keep mixing your dough by hand or with a spatula until it no longer sticks; cover the bowl with a towel or cling film and let it sit for an hour or so. This process is optional; you can start cutting your dough right away, but I prefer to let it sit to allow all the ingredients to blend well together. Maybe I've just been baking bread and pizza too much; anyway, once you're ready to work on your dough.

Sprinkle flour on a worktop, move your dough from the bowl to the dusted worktop and roll it around a couple of times, then cut it into small pieces. Take one of the pieces, roll and stretch it long, then start cutting it into small pieces. The pieces will rise when you fry them, so unless you want to end up with big chin chin, I recommend cutting them very small, especially if you added baking soda to the mix. Repeat this process with the remaining pieces of dough. I recommend having your stove on and frying them as you go to save time.

Chin Chin

Chin Chin: Delicious African Treat

Once you've made the dough, you can get creative and cut it into different shapes. Most people are used to round ones like mine or stretched like spaghetti. So feel free to show your creativity by giving chin chin different shapes; it's your dough after all. Now I've shown you how to make a popular African treat at home, and once you try them fresh and hot, you'll never go back to store-bought ones.

You'll probably end up eating all in one sitting unless you're disciplined. As delicious as they are, they aren't healthy; remember, butter is one of the ingredients before being fried. Africans can get away with eating them a lot because it's hot there, and they'll easily burn the extra calories. The same can't be said about Europe, America or anywhere else apart from Africa.

I'm actually guilty of eating the ones I made in 2 days; it was so good I couldn't help it, and I won't be making them again anytime soon. I can't eat fried food or treats on a weight-loss journey; I was feeling nostalgic and wanted to reconnect with my roots...

Thank you for reading!

Photo by Laura Chouette

How did the 7-day week come about, and who chose the specific name for each day? When did the world agree on it instead of 10 or 12? I found some answers in my research and came to understand how the concept developed. I also learned about failed attempts by some societies to implement a 5-day week. This is a rhetorical question about things I've always been curious about.

I have questions about everyday items, implemented systems, and things that genuinely don't make sense but have become an important part of our lives. Don't worry, I won't bore you with some philosophical questions about life and society, good and evil, or the existence of God, even though I'm a Christian woman struggling with my faith lately.

I want to share my thoughts about things I'm curious about and why I've been wondering. I'm naturally curious, and, surprisingly, it took me this long to start thinking about them. I'm going to keep it light, and some of them might seem silly to you, but I'm genuinely curious. So be patient with me. I'm laughing at the thought of what you're about to read, but here we go.

Photo by Sunny Nguyen

The Inspiration To Make Milk

I have loved drinking milk since childhood, and it hasn't changed even in my 40s; it's one of the best things ever made, but since becoming an adult and understanding how the world and men work. I've been curious about the origins of milk. Moreover, how did the person who discovered it come up with the idea, and what was he doing to the cow?

I'm no longer an innocent girl who would just enjoy the drink without much thought about it. And I'm at an age where nothing surprises me anymore, which is why I can't stop wondering: Why did he think about squeezing a cow's udder for milk?! Was he inspired by a female member of his family breastfeeding her child and thought, "If it works with human milk, it might just work with animal milk"

Or was he doing unspeakable things to the cow and just happened to discover one of the most nutritious drinks ever made? Knowing men and what they are capable of to satisfy their sexual needs, this isn't far-fetched. If they can go after babies, children, dead people, women, men and dogs, why would a cow be an exception?

One of the biggest lies ever told is that men have a type; they don't, and anything will do for them. So I can't stop thinking about how the first glass of milk was made, and it's been a consolation that I mostly drink oat and soya milk. I was advised to switch to plant-based milk due to the level of hormones in animal milk, which wasn't good for my already big boobs. I haven't seen many changes, but soya milk is delicious, so I have no complaints.

AI image I created for this post

East Asian Men Hairless Chest

If you read my post about my newfound interest in historical Chinese dramas, then you know where this is going. As I mentioned, I have never seen a Korean or Chinese man with a beard. I wondered whether they can even grow facial hair like men of other races; Japanese men seem to be an exception, since they tend to have it or grow it. Then again, Japanese people's genetic makeup is different from that of other East Asians.

As someone who watched historical C-dramas, I've seen bearded men in those dramas, but we can't confuse TV shows with reality. So I genuinely thought that Chinese and Korean men couldn't grow a beard until recently; then I was flabbergasted to see a bearded Korean man on TikTok. I couldn't believe my eyes and left a comment. It seemed like I wasn't the only one, and my comment went viral; people talked about his beard and lack of makeup.

A girl living in Korea replied to my comment, saying she still hasn't seen a Korean man with a beard. Some said they were the first in their bloodline to see an Asian man with a beard and without makeup. I actually think Asian men look good with a beard; at least he and the bearded Japanese men I've seen look good, so why do they hate facial hair so much? Do Asian women prefer their men hairless and smooth?

Something else has been on my mind since he shattered my misconception about East Asian men. Now I wonder if they can grow chest hair; I don't find hairy chests sexy or appealing. I'm genuinely curious because I've never seen an Asian man with a hairy chest. Well, I've never seen an Asian man's body in real life, but in dramas, their chests are always hairless and smooth.

Do they shave, or are they naturally hairless? This is probably one of those things I'll never get an answer to, since it would be inappropriate to ask this question of a Chinese or Japanese man, let alone demand that they show me their chest.

Photo by Timo Volz

The Existence Of Heaven And Hell

I embraced Buddhism in my teens, Chinese Buddhism to be exact. You can imagine the drama when my very religious and Christian family found out about it. My dad was cool as long as I behaved and got good grades, but it was another story for my controlling mother. My siblings made fun of me whenever an art martial movie came up on TV.

I won't bore you with the details of how I walked away from Christianity to become a Buddhist, only to go back to Christianity again. As a teenager looking for answers and the meaning of life, no one in my family understood. Although it wasn't one of the easiest times of my life, I don't regret my decision to learn more about Buddhism.

I credit my good behaviour as a teenager to the years I spent practising Buddhism; I found inner peace, helping me overcome my rage and dissatisfaction with my family, so I had no reason to rebel or go against my parents. In the end, I walked away after years of emotional blackmail from my mother. It might be why I never fully embraced Christianity again and have been questioning my faith over the years.

There are so many similarities between Christianity and Buddhism that it didn't feel like I had changed religion, except for the fact that there was no God to worship. The meaning of heaven and hell isn't exactly the same, but it exists in both religions and many others. I have been wondering why most religions agree on the existence of heaven and hell, even when some claim there is no such thing as God.

If heaven and hell really exist, are some of us doomed to keep suffering after death due to the kind of life we lived? If not, is it a manmade concept to control humankind's actions and behaviour? And why does it exist in almost every religion? I don't think I'll find an answer anytime soon, and I promised to keep it light, so these are the things I'm curious about.

Thank you for reading!

Life in London is fun and interesting, but it can also get overwhelming, especially when you're on your own. A few weeks ago, I was suffocating in this beautiful city, so I booked a trip up north to relax and clear my mind. Although my life isn't what it was before moving to London, I couldn't wait to take a break and leave the city for a few days.

As a frugal woman, I like to make the most of my money and since I only needed a break. There was no point wasting time looking for an expensive city escape, so I decided to go back to Manchester, where I lived for years. It always brings back some unpleasant memories whenever I visit; however, it was also the perfect destination for a relaxing trip, since I was planning to visit Liverpool, and it's an hour away from Manchester.

I haven't been to Liverpool in years, and I've been thinking a lot about the first time I took my daughters for a day trip. I was a single mother struggling to raise 2 daughters; looking back, those days seem a lot happier than my lonely life in this big city. I don't miss the struggle; I just miss my daughters and the time we spent together as a family.

After browsing online for an hour or so, I found an affordable hotel in Manchester City centre for £115 ($152) for 3 nights, and then I purchased a coach ticket for both trips to Manchester and Liverpool. A return ticket to Manchester cost £28 ($37), and a return ticket to Liverpool cost £4 ($5). I had a £50 ($66) budget for my stay. As I already mentioned, I was only going there for a break, and it was more than enough to cover my expenses.

Everything I got from the grocery store

Relaxing On A Budget

I arrived in Manchester around 12 pm, and I couldn't check into my hotel until 3 pm. Since I was staying at a budget hotel with an option for early check-in for an extra fee, I chose to walk around Manchester instead. I have a lot to say about hotel check-in times, but I'll cover it on my YouTube channel and podcast.

The first thing I did after leaving the coach station was grocery shopping, which turned out to be a mistake. I had 3 hours until check-in time and nowhere to leave my luggage, and the last thing I needed was to carry a bag full of groceries. After picking up a few items from a supermarket, I went to Arndale, Manchester shopping centre for a toilet break.

You probably don't need to know this, but I left home at 5 am and haven't peed since leaving London at 7:30 am, because I don't like using a coach toilet. I wandered around the shopping centre for an hour. I was hungry, exhausted, and my feet hurt, but it was still too early to go to my hotel. So I kept walking around and ended up sitting in Exchange Square for another hour.

It may seem boring to sit in the same place for so long, but a man was dancing to Michael Jackson's songs. I had watched the movie a few weeks earlier, and it brought back some memories of growing up in the 90s. I had never seen him before and wondered if he started his public performance after watching Michael.

Watching a J-drama in bed

Staying Under The Duvet

I can't describe how I felt when I finally checked in. The room was simple, with a double bed, TV, and a desk. Exactly what I needed for my stay, and the best part is that a housekeeper won't knock on your door unless you request the service. After putting my things away, I took a hot shower to relax my stiff body and shoulders.

After changing into my pyjamas, I ate 2 slices of baguette and then comfortably lay down on the bed. I was too exhausted to sleep, so I watched a Japanese drama until later that night. I got out of bed around 10 pm for a night walk. One of the best things about staying in the city centre is experiencing Manchester's nightlife.

I haven't been to Oxford Street in ages and wondered if it's still one of Manchester's busiest areas. So I decided to walk from Deansgate to Oxford Street, where some of Manchester University's campuses are located. I had left the hotel for less than half an hour when I saw a couple making out on the streets, and I'm not just talking about kissing.

People do whatever they want once it's dark, and I was reminded that Manchester may not be as dangerous as London. But it was still dangerous, and it wouldn't be safe to be out on my own. So I gave up on my walk and went back to the hotel to continue watching the J-drama.

Eating my first meat pizza in years

A Taste of Meat

I didn't sleep until 4 am and stayed under the duvet the whole day. There wasn't much for me to see, as I already explained; I lived there long enough to know the city. I was still curious about Oxford Street, but it wasn't worth getting out of bed after staying up. Moreover, I was on a trip to relax, not for touristy activities.

On the second day, I ate in my room and watched Cinderella Closet or Shinderera Kurozetto; something about it reminded me of the 00s and 2010s Japanese dramas and made me want to watch Hana Yori Dango again. I was so focused on the drama that I ordered the wrong pizza in the evening. I've been a pescatarian for over 5 years, and I gave up on meat and poultry for personal reasons.

Although it wouldn't hurt me to eat meat, I probably wouldn't enjoy it because it tastes bland to me, and it has been that way since my 2nd pregnancy. I was laughing so much watching the drama that I ordered a meat feast pizza instead of a seafood one. I didn't realise my mistake until delivery, and I had to accept it since it was my own fault. For the first time in over 5 years, I tasted meat again- well, if it's really meat in a meat feast pizza.

I wouldn't say I enjoyed it or missed eating meat, but it also didn't make me feel like throwing it in the bin. I was indifferent and still ate it since I had already paid for it. I didn't leave my room and made plans to go out the following day. I hadn't forgotten that I was still on a weight loss journey, and it wasn't healthy to turn into a couch potato even on holidays.

Having fun at the Trafford Centre

Fun Day At The Trafford Centre

I finally left my room to go to the Trafford Centre on my last day in Manchester. I went out early to have enough time to enjoy myself before returning to the hotel, since I was leaving the following morning. I lived and worked a few minutes' walk away from the Trafford Centre, and it was one of my daughters' favourite places in Manchester.

It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say it's one of the most beautiful shopping centres in the UK. It reminds me of Galeries Lafayette in Paris, even though they aren't exactly on the same level, but you get what I mean. It's even better since my last visit; a few years ago it didn't have an outdoor cinema or a DJ to keep the place lively.

I started my visit by checking out some new stores, and I loved the LEGO store. I left disappointed because I wanted the One Piece LEGO set, but it was above my budget. So I bought myself a pair of lace underwear at a lingerie store to make up for the LEGOs. After walking around until my feet hurt, I grabbed a meal at a sushi bar.

After a live concert in the food court, I came across a DJ playing music on the other side of the shopping centre. It was fun to sing along while window shopping, and I didn't even realise that 5 hours had already passed. Manchester is growing so fast and will soon become the new London, even though there is still a long way to go; at least I can say that I was there when it all started.

Manchester is no longer just the city of football; it's worth visiting for many other things, and if or when you do, don't miss out on the Trafford Centre. It's easy to get there by tram or bus from Old Trafford, Manchester United's stadium. And that's how I spent 3 nights in Manchester on a budget.

Thank you for reading!

I'm going to pretend like I didn't start my walk for weight loss almost 2 years ago because I haven't been consistent enough to make real progress. So let's start this weight loss journey again, and this time I want to share it on this new version of my blog, hoping it'll help me stay consistent. I'm also making a comeback on YouTube and my podcast to talk about life, the things I love, the places I visit and share my weight-loss journey.

Sharing my journey might be the best way to stay motivated, as I would be too embarrassed to give up once people start watching. I changed my blog's name to Salomé Living, the same as my YouTube channel and Podcast, to link them and make it easier to follow my journey.

Those who prefer YouTube can get an insight into my life through my videos; readers can keep up with me on my blog, even though it will be behind because I want to write about other topics. Finally, listeners can stay up to date on my podcast. I'm going all out, hoping to stay motivated and consistent. As I mentioned above, I'm starting my weight loss journey all over again.

I don't like setting goals since I tend to be hard on myself, but I'll do my best to walk for at least 2 hours every day. I'll keep doing squats and lunges in my room until I move somewhere I can join a 24h gym. I like working out early in the morning or late at night at the gym.

Coffee shop by the flower garden

First Walk In Greenwich Park

Greenwich Park has been one of my favourite places in London since my first trip to the city many years ago. It felt natural to go back there for the first day of my weight loss walk; everything about the park puts me at ease. Since I'm familiar with Greenwich Park, I knew exactly where I wanted to start walking and went straight to the Vanbrugh Entrance, which leads to the flower garden.

The park is uphill, and the difficulty of your walk will depend on where you start. On my first day, I used one of the 2 entrances at the top of the hill; I wanted to take it easy by walking around the flower garden and the rose garden before walking downhill and then climbing back up again. I had it all figured out in my head, but things don't always go as planned; I was halfway to the rose garden when a light rain started falling.

After whining about the heatwaves, you'd think I'd be happy, but I left my umbrella at home and walking in the rain was out of the question. The rain is always cold in the UK, regardless of the season, and I couldn't risk catching a cold, which would get in the way of my walking challenge. So I had no other choice but to slow down and find cover under the trees.

Needless to say, I was annoyed. I mean, I haven't done 5k steps, and I was already a mess. The rain and wind made me look like a wet cat, and going out without a raincoat was a rookie mistake. I thought about going back home, but I didn't want to give up. I couldn't go home without doing at least 10k steps, so I stood under the trees waiting for the rain to stop.

Still smiling during bad weather

Walking In The Rain

I usually go on my walks first thing in the morning, but I went to bed late the night before and didn't wake up until 9 am. So I spent the day at home working and went for a walk after 4 pm. I thought it was the perfect time because I had dinner an hour earlier, and a little exercise would help me digest. Little did I know I'd end up walking in the rain, and no one likes walking around in wet socks.

I stepped forward and walked towards the rose garden. The rain wouldn't stop until 8 pm according to the weather app on my phone, so I had no choice but to keep going since the days are getting shorter. I picked up the pace and walked through the garden without admiring the roses. I wanted to go downhill and walk back up before it got too dark in the park.

I didn't have to go all the way to Greenwich Park for a simple walk; I was there for the hills. I've been trying to "conquer" them for months, but they are so steep that my heart starts racing before reaching the top. The last time I tried was before my short move to Oxford. I'm faster, and my movements are more fluid now, so I couldn't wait to try it again.

The most challenging hill for me is near the St Georges Street entrance. I'll know I've made progress once I can climb it without feeling like my heart is sinking into my stomach. And that's exactly where I wanted to start on my first walk, and hopefully by this time next month, it will get easier. On another note, I decided to stop weighing myself; my weight stays the same even though my clothes are bigger and my cheeks are getting smaller.

This hill almost had me in tears

Every Walk Matters

I left the park after climbing the hill twice, and it wasn't enough to reach 10k daily steps. I wasn't in a hurry to go home, so I walked for an hour or so to complete them before hopping on a bus back. The bad weather almost ruined my plans, but I'm serious this time and won't make any excuses like I used to. Consistency will help me improve; that's why every walk or step matters.

The weather is getting cold, and it won't be easy to go for a walk in a couple of months. So this is the best time to find my rhythm and stick to it, then turn it into a routine when the cold days come. There's no doubt that I've lost weight and I'm getting smaller, but my boobs haven't changed much.

If anything, they look bigger now that my shoulders are smaller; I can't believe I'm still embarrassed by my big chest now, as I was as a teenager. One of my sisters thinks it has nothing to do with weight, and they'll probably get smaller if I let a man touch them. It made me wonder if I'm the only sane woman in my family!

Welcome to my walk for weight loss series. There is more to come, so stay tuned if you want to see me struggle going uphill. Check out my YouTube channel, Salomé Living.

Thank you for reading!

Photo by Deon Black

"Are you disappointed that I'm not sleeping around?" I quietly asked my mother.

"I'm not asking you to jump in bed with any man; I'm just worried about you. When was the last time you were interested enough in a man to sleep with him? Are you planning to live like a nun for the rest of your life?" She muttered.

"I can't force you to get married, and you can stay single if that's what you want, but at least have another child", she continued. I pulled the phone away from my ear, rolled my eyes and then said, "I'm not taking the risk of catching an std to give you a grandchild. You never wanted me to be too 'friendly' with men, and now you're encouraging me to sleep around. Old age is scary!"

I didn't want to drag this inappropriate conversation, so I told her I would call back later and hung up. I'll never get used to talking about sex with my mother. I may be in my 40s now, but it's still embarrassing and inappropriate. How did I even get myself in this situation? You didn't ask, but I'll still tell you because it's my blog, and I can overshare whatever I want.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I've been pretty stressed lately, and I haven't been enjoying life as much as I did a few months ago. It got so bad that I stopped talking to everyone except for my mother, and I haven't been to my sister's house or spoken to her for weeks. It's not like she's looking for me either, so I've been quietly living my life here in London.

I might as well say it as it is: I'm depressed because nothing is going as planned, and I have no choice but to come up with a new one. I'm planning to turn things around in the next few months; I've been busy trying to sort out the mess that is my life right now, making plans and keeping my promise to my daughters. My life is very stressful, and I opened up to my mother, and you'll never guess what she told me afterwards.

"You wouldn't feel so drained if you had sex more often. Men have their usefulness, you know and even more so in the bedroom. Having sex at least 3 times a week will make you enjoy life more and feel less stressed. Why do you think I keep telling you to get yourself a husband?"

Photo by Maria Talks

A Life Of Abstinence

When my last relationship fell apart and I started living alone with my daughters, I embraced a life of abstinence without making any vows. I stopped drinking, as I was the only adult in the house and wanted to keep a clear mind in case my daughters, who were still very young, needed me.

I never liked alcohol to begin with, and it wasn't that hard to give up drinking, and now I have a glass or 2 of wine on New Year's Eve and special occasions; I don't even drink on my birthday. Boring, yeah, I know!

I smoked a couple of cigarettes as a teenager and never liked it, so I'm a non-smoker and have never tried any drugs. I discovered sex pretty late compared to girls my age. Although I'm not crazy about it, I can be passionate and enjoy it with the right man. It's always been about doing it with the right man for me, even if it means waiting months or years.

I was in my early 30s when I became single, and I could have married and had more children if I had gotten into another relationship, but I chose to focus on building a new life for myself and my daughters. I didn't have much interest in men because of my strict upbringing, and after a disappointing relationship, the last thing I wanted was to fall in love and date again.

That's how I started living a life of abstinence, and I haven't dated or been with anyone since then. It's embarrassing to say this, but it's been years since I've had sex, and I'm not even sure if I still remember how to kiss. If you aren't interested in a 40+ woman's sex life, please stop reading now!

Photo by Deon Black

Are Men Still Sexually Attractive

It's been years since I looked at a man and thought, I want him! Maybe I've been single for too long or men have been too disappointing lately, but I haven't felt any sexual desire for a man in a while. I see them and speak to them, but I feel nothing at all. Not the slightest sexual interest; hence my mother's outburst when I told her I'm too stressed to enjoy life.

The question people often ask me when I tell them how long I've been single is: Do you still find men sexually attractive? Was your ex abusive, and did he traumatise you to lose all interest in men? The truth is, there is no simple answer. I have never fallen for a woman or had any romantic interest in them, so yes, I'm still attracted to men, but I don't necessarily feel like having sex with them.

For me, sex has always been about doing it with the right man. I may be attracted to men, but I'd rather be single than have sex with a man who isn't right for me. I used to visit my mother at work when she was a midwife, and I've seen firsthand some men's sexual perversions. So one-night stands and hookups are way too risky for me; I'm not saving myself for anyone. Rather, I'm maintaining my good health, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Men are still sexually attractive to me, and I'm not having sex because I'm too serious and picky. I've never dated for fun and probably never will, and that's why there is no sex in my life. It was a lot easier to meet men who wanted a serious relationship a few years ago; nowadays, most of them don't know what they want, and it's better to be alone than give a man access to my body while he's trying to figure things out.

I haven't given up on love and still think there's a man out there for me, and the wait will be worth it when we finally meet. If we ever meet, we're trying to be positive, so let's say that when I finally meet him, we'll have a lot to catch up on. Until then, I hope my mother will spare me another conversation about sex!

Thank you for reading!

Favouritism And Conflict

What Would He Think

Breakfast and Morning Walk

A Stroll In Kyoto Garden

Baking and Being Productive

Only Bras That Don't Fit

Encounter At A Sushi Bar

A Quiet Moment In Bed

Making Chin Chin At Home

No-knead dough

Chin Chin: Delicious African Treat

The Inspiration To Make Milk

East Asian Men Hairless Chest

The Existence Of Heaven And Hell

Relaxing On A Budget

Staying Under The Duvet

A Taste of Meat

Fun Day At The Trafford Centre

First Walk In Greenwich Park

Walking In The Rain

Every Walk Matters

A Life Of Abstinence

Are Men Still Sexually Attractive

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