I thought my mum was going to drive me crazy after spending a few weeks with her, and I love her, but it's so good to be back in my safe space here in London. I went to France last month to visit my mother, who was unwell at the time, and during my stay, she reminded me of why I prefer to live in England.
I know it's been a while since my last post, but the internet wasn't working at my place when I came back, and I decided to take a break and relax. I wonder sometimes if anyone even finds my blog interesting, and it can be discouraging, so it was good to take a much-needed break.
It was great to see my family and spend time with them, and I found myself playing peacemaker between my mother and my younger brother. He was my mother's favourite child growing up, and now he barely speaks to her. Sons really do change after getting married.
She apologised for being cold and strict with me when I was younger. I didn't say anything since being ignored by a son you treated like a king is a punishment I wouldn't wish on anyone. And I'm grateful for not having a son, after seeing how my younger brother had been treating our mother.
I went on a day out in the neighbourhood where I lived as a teenager. It brought back so many memories of a time when I was an innocent and pampered girl. A few days after I arrived, my mother hooked me up with a doctor from her old job. Can you believe it? It made me wonder if she hasn't been faking her health issues. She told me that I left her no choice since I'm not making any effort to find a man...
My First Date In Months
It felt like an ambush when she broke the news, but I agreed to go on the blind date nonetheless since she already arranged it. It was my first date in months, and I wasn't looking forward to it, to be honest. I'm so used to being on my own now that I'm not sure if I still have any tolerance for other people in my space, especially men.
The plan was to meet at a restaurant for a meal and maybe do something fun afterwards if it went well. The guy looked fine, and looks don't matter to me as long as a man is well put together and smells good. I gave him 2 kisses on the cheeks, a normal French greeting, and then he took my hand. I thought it was a pretty bold move, but didn't say anything.
He complimented me on my looks and said I was pretty, and then asked if I was mixed. It was a pretty funny thing to say, considering that my mother introduced us, so I asked him why he thought I was mixed. "You don't have typical black women features; you have small eyes, and your facial structure is also different. Is there some Asian mix in you?"
I burst out laughing because I get it a lot; it's been going on since childhood. People made fun of my small eyes, round face and chubby cheeks, but it doesn't bother me anymore. So I told him I was fully black and my family roots can be traced to the Republic of Congo in Central Africa. Most people are used to West African features because of the transatlantic slave trade, and I look different because I'm not West African.
It was good to go on a date and speak to him, but he made me feel uncomfortable as he couldn't take his eyes off my boobs. He's definitely a "boobs guy", and I just don't get men's fascination with breasts, big or small. There wasn't a second date, as I would rather have a man looking into my eyes when he's talking to me than ogling my boobs.
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| Photo by Giulia Bertelli |
Happy In My Safe Space
Although I appreciate my mother's effort to help me find a man, I couldn't wait to leave and now that I'm back in my safe space in London. I'm looking forward to doing some fun activities this summer. I'm currently watching the World Cup, and I've been making plans for when it ends.
There's still so much to see and do, and I've been focusing on creating walking-tour content in London and across the UK. I'm going on a day trip to a nearby city in a couple of weeks for a festival. I'm taking a break from reading as it's too hot. Can anyone read and enjoy a book during a heatwave? I sure can't, so I'll pick up my novels again in autumn. I miss making handmade stuff, and I want to start crocheting again. I already found a tutorial video on YouTube for a beautiful scarf.
I also decided to postpone my trip to Japan to next year, and this is the last time I'll postpone it. If for some reason I'm no longer able to go next year, I'll have to give up on it. Something always seems to get in the way whenever I make plans to visit Japan; maybe it isn't meant to be, and it's important to know when to let go of your childhood dreams. So it's next year or never, but I'm not planning on giving up on learning Japanese.
I'm still going to work hard, and hopefully one day, I'll finally speak and even read Japanese. It's a shame that I can't make the trip this year, as I really wanted to see Kingdom in theatres this July. It can't be helped, and I heard that it's extremely hot in summer, so it's best to visit in autumn next year.
I also want to say that I lost over 5kg during my trip to France, and I'm feeling and looking good. My clothes fit better, and more importantly, my breasts are getting smaller. My back doesn't hurt as much as it used to, and it's great, although I still want to lose more weight. Ideally, I would like to lose 15 kg by autumn this year, so wish me luck!
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